


8:46 *Joshler*

by joshramsayvevo



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, Gen, Josh Dun & Tyler Joseph Are Best Friends, Josh Dun & Tyler Joseph Friendship, M/M, Pansexual Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-19 22:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 21,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16543538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshramsayvevo/pseuds/joshramsayvevo
Summary: A bucket list and a mutual interest in adventures brings two boys together, two very different boys, and yet they are similar in various ways.tags: neg,prepareCopyright @joshramsayvevo***I don't quite ship Joshler . Maybe just the bromance, "they're-best - frens -and-you-know-it" sorta  bromance .AND/BUT I love Jenna Joseph with all my soul. I mean  no  disrespect to Jenna, Tyler OR Josh. I know Tyler and Jenna are happily married, and they're perfect with and for each other.**





	1. Prologue

He didn't _want_ to leave, thank you very much. Still, the monotone note was the very last thing he heard before saying goodbye to Josh and leaving.


	2. One

I looked up from the computer when I heard the ruckus. A woman marched in, obviously angry. A boy around my age trailed after her with his head bent. She marched up to me and slammed down a pair of shoes. She started complaining and raising her voice at me by the minute. I looked desperately over at Janette, my manager, for help. She caught my eye and skipped over. She took my place at the counter and started apologizing profusely at the angry customer.

I caught the boy's eye, who seemed amused and embarrassed. "I told her that the other person in charge wouldn't be here today," he explained. "But she didn't listen..."

I racked my brain for who else could possibly work in customer service. "You mean Becca?"

The boy shrugged. "Maybe, I don't know. She was blonde and acted almost as stuck up as my mom."

I smiled ruefully. "Yeah, it was probably Becca." I held my hand out over the counter. "I'm Josh, by the way."

"Tyler." The boy's grip was very firm, despite how small and fragile he looked.

"Tyler, come on!" The woman snapped. Tyler and I broke our contact as he turned his head; his mom had walked to the exit.

Flustered, he turned back to me. "Oh-uh, I'll catch you later?" He ran away before waiting for me to reply.

"Sure...yeah..." I said sadly to myself.

Janette came up to me. "That your boyfriend?" She teased. I scoffed and pushed her shoulder with mine.

" _No_ , you know I'm straight. I  _can_  admit that he is cute though."

Janette snickered. "Oh well. You're still my gay son."

She ruffled my hair and almost sauntered off. "Oh! Was his mom pissed at Becca?"

I nodded and she frowned. "Hmm. I'm gonna have to talk to her about that. Your boyfriend's mom may just be that way but I'm pretty sure Becca doesn't help with that. Anyway, get back to work. You're off in half an hour so give it all you've got, kiddo."

I saluted her. "Yes, ma'am."

******

"Josh, help me out real quick before you go?" My giant of a co-worker Dan asked. I shrugged into my coat as I told him that I would.

We went around to the back and to where the extra stock was. "There's supposed to be a new shipment of pillows  _somewhere_..." Dan muttered.

My eyes landed on a box and I went over to it. "They're over here, Dan!"

Dan grinned and picked the box up. "Thanks, dude. Knew I could count on you. Okay, peasant, you are dismissed."

"I'm the  _king_ , excuse you," I sassed to him. "But no problem. See you tomorrow."

I spent the entire drive home thinking about Tyler. I was so submerged in my thoughts that I narrowly missed hitting what looked like a squirrel on 4650 East and Chez Street.

"Sorry, little guy!" I called out the window.

My small, peach house soon came into view. After I parked my Acura next to the silver Tesla, I took a few deep breaths. I wasn't really excited to go inside and be with Debby for the rest of the day.

Don't get me wrong, I  _loved_ Debby. Nothing bad had come between us. We've just drifted apart and realized that we didn't love each other nearly as much as we used to. We've decided that we would still be friends, but it was still a little awkward sharing the same house.

"Deb, I'm home," I called out when I did eventually walk through the door. She came around the corner, drying her hands with a dish towel.

"I'm moving out today," she announced, her voice strained. "It's only fair that-"

" _You_  keep the house." I sighed. We've had this conversation a  _lot_. Debby thought that  _I_  needed the house more than she did, even if she had more going for her. "I can find an-"

"Josh, you've put more work into this place than  _I_  have, and we both know it." she snapped. "And besides, I've already packed my stuff."

"So you're really leaving then?" I asked sadly. "That's that?"

Debby pursed her lips. "Yeah...I guess so. I've called a cab to come get me any moment now."

I nodded slowly. "Let me help you carry your bags out, then...?"

"Sure," she replied. "I'd like that."

The next hour was spent with me, Debby, the taxi driver and a U-Haul driver taking all her stuff to the two vehicles. Soon, Debby and I were standing by the taxi.

"Catch you later?" Debby asked a little hopefully. I nodded and pulled her into a quick hug.

She got into the cab and I watched both vehicles turn the corner; that moment was when I started feeling the loneliness.


	3. Two

" _Josh,_  she just  _fired_  me!" Becca yelled over the phone. Becca was always a loud girl; even then I had to hold the phone away from my ear a bit.

"Did you tell her  _your_  side of the story?" I asked her.

Becca was quiet for a moment, and I took that as a  _no._ "What do you know about your situation?" I sighed.

"I don't even  _know_ , alright?! I guess I talked back to Mrs Joseph the other day when she complained about those-" She stopped in her rambling. "That's why. That  _bitch_  got me fired just because nothing can please her!"

I face-palmed. "Becca, that's not exactly it..." I remembered the boy. "Wait, you mean Tyler's mom?"

Becca, who had been ignoring me and continuing with her rant, suddenly stopped. "A  _who_  now? You mean that hot boy that always goes to the store with her?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I suppose so."

"Well then, yeah. That's Tyler's mom. Don't you know about the Josephs?"

I looked out my front window. "Um...no?"

Becca gasped. "What? Like nothing at  _all_?!"

"I said I didn't, Becca. What's the big deal anyway?"

Then she went on this whole thing about how Tyler's dad owned the DMV across the street from the store. "And that's why they always go to  _our_ -well,  _your_ \- store. I'm pretty sure they live where you do."

I looked around my house. "Um...what?"

"Your  _neighborhood_ , your  _street,"_ Becca said with an audible eye roll. "Not your house. Anyway, gotta go. Sebastian is taking me out tonight and I've gotta go get ready. Ciao."

She hung up the phone before I got the chance to say anything else.

I put my phone down and rubbed between my eyes. "Geez, I need to wind down..."

I decided to go to the little park that was down the ways to take some pictures. I felt confident and calm when I was behind the camera. Plus, a park is the perfect place for natural beauty-as natural as something artificial could be, at least.

The first thing I saw wasn't even in the park; it was a squirrel on the walkway staring right at me. It was a little creepy.

"It's impolite to take pictures of somebody's pet without their consent, you know." Someone behind me said.

I turned around to look at Tyler. For a second, I debated on whether to accidentally be surprised and make a fool of myself, or to play along.

Startled Me got there before Cool Me. "I-uh...I didn't...yeah. I didn't know."

Tyler smirked and rose an eyebrow. "Yeah, you didn't?"

My face heated up. "Shut up, stop making fun of me."

He held his pinkie out to me. "Okay, I'll stop. That was the only time I'd ever do that."

I hooked my pinkie with his. "Thanks. Uh-is the squirrel really your pet?"

Tyler grinned but shook his head. "Not mine, though it probably could be the park's."

"Oh, so would I need to ask the fence?"

"Probably not. Maybe it depends on what kind of shot you got."

I showed him the picture and together we decided that the park would be happy with it, with or without permission.

"So is this what you do, take pictures of other people's pets?" He asked.

I poked his chest. "You said you would stop making fun of me."

Tyler laughed. "Alright, let me rephrase that: This is the only thing I'll tease you about. At the time of this pact, this happened and nothing else has. Therefore, anything teasing-worthy that happens after today will not be acknowledged."

"Shake on it." I held out my hand, and we did indeed shake on it. I didn't let go of his hand right away. I instead dragged him to a big rock and made him sit.

"What are you doing to me?" He laughed.

"Just sit down and pose. I'm gonna paint you like one of my French girls."

Tyler gave me a confused look. "You've lived in France?"

_I_  was bewildered then. "Um...no? Did you really not catch that reference?"

I couldn't decide who was confused more. "Is that  _from_  something?" He asked.

My eyes widened. "Yeah, only one of the best movies ever made!  _Titanic!_ "

Tyler shook his head. "Never seen it, never heard of it."

I gaped at him. "No? Leonardo DiCaprio?"

"Is he in that?" Tyler asked, dubious.

I point at him. " _You_ , my friend, are not as cultured as I thought you were. That's it, we've  _gotta_ make a date to-Please tell me you've at least seen the  _Romeo and Juliet_  that Leo DiCap is in!"

"Sorry...no. I don't really watch television..."

I put my hand on my chest. "You're  _far_  more innocent than I thought you were," I whispered.

Tyler stood up and got a little bit in my face. " _Innocent_? You thought that I was  _innocent?_ "

I nodded and pat his head. "Now even more since you've never seen the classics." I pointed to my house. "My house tomorrow at three o'clock. Meet me by the flag pole."

Tyler craned his neck. "The peach-coloured house?" I nodded. "You don't  _have_  a flagpole."

"You can't tease me about that," I sassed.

Tyler whined. "Anything from today? Can we change the pact to things from just today? Please?" He took my hand. "Just this once!"

I couldn't possibly stop laughing, and the longer I spent with him, the more I  _didn't_  want to stop.


	4. Three

"You guys are gonna hang out  _today_?!" Janette squealed happily the next day. "What time?!"

"At around three," I answered, a little exasperated.

Janette froze. "Josh, you get off at four."

I smacked my forehead. "Duh! I-I don't have his number though!"

Janette smacked my forehead too. "Yeah,  _dummy!_  Imma go over there and tell him to get his ass over here."

"Don't swear at him!" I called after her. I didn't have to wait long before she came backpedaling back with Mrs Joseph storming in. "Oh, brother." I muttered.

"I couldn't find  _any_  of those pans  _anywhere else!"_  Mrs Joseph snapped. "So I only came here as a last resort!"

I was cheered up when Tyler turned in and headed to me. He gripped the counter hard. "She is  _crazy!_ " He gasped. "They're just _pans!"_

"Maybe she's pansexual," I suggested, making a terrible pun. Tyler gave me such the dirty look that my face started burning. "Er...sorry. I couldn't resist."

"She hardly supports gay rights," Tyler complained. "It's not like she'll know what being pan is." He sighed. "Much less if  _I_  come out as so...Can't even imagine how she'd react..." He shuddered visibly.

I was wrapping my head around what he said and I guess he took it the wrong way because he narrowed his eyes. "Don't tell me  _you're_  homophobic." He muttered.

I almost choked on my surprise. "W-What?!  _Heck_  no, Tyler! I'm-I'm like Janette's gay son."

He rose an eyebrow, not believing me. "So you're gay?"

"I-Well-no," I stammered. "But Janette is convinced I am and you  _are_  pretty cute-"

"You think I'm...cute?" A dawn of a smile played st the corners of his lips.

" _Yes!"_  I huffed. "Cute, small, and innocent. The last one not for long, however, because of out movie date later. Speaking of which, we can't do it at three because I get off at four. So we'll have to do it after  _that_. Is that okay?" I added timidly.

Tyler acted as though he needed to seriously consider it. "Yeah, I guess so. Peach house by the park?"

"You got it."

He grinned. "Alright, see you then. I-I should probably go wait by the doors for my mom..."

I looked over. "It's literally eight feet away though."

Tyler followed my gaze. "Yeah, I know, but you know how my mother is. I mean, you  _know_ how she is."

I laughed. "Well, I  _suppose_  that's true... If you insist, then. See you later."

Tyler smiled one last time before jogging away.

"Make sure Becca doesn't steal your man," Janette said, appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

"What do you mean?" I ask. "I'm not even into him. He's just a-well, technically still an acquaintance. Besides, Becca is with  _Sebastian_. They are  _so_  meant for each other it's not even funny."

Janette sniggered. "Yeah alright, pretty boy. Just get to work, you only have two hours left so pound them out."

I pouted. "I am  _not_  pretty!"

******

"Joshua! Stop working your ass off and go home! Geez!"

I turned and was surprised to see Dan yelling at me. "Dan, I'm honestly-"

He scoffed. "Fine? Yeah, okay, dude. Janette told me you had a hot date that you had to get to. So get going or else she'll fire you  _f_ _or_ working."

I groaned and clocked out for the day.

******

I had just set the last bowl of snacks on my coffee table when my doorbell rang. I looked up and waited a moment. I had no clue  _why_  I was so nervous about this. Yes, I was technically hanging out with a boy I just met. There were worst scenarios that this could have been.

I took a deep breath before going to open the door.

Tyler looked adorable in his baseball cap and striped jacket. I remembered soon enough to be a good host and stepped aside. "Make yourself at home."

Tyler smiled and went to sit on my couch. He looked at the prepared snacks with amusement evident on his face. "You went all out just for me, huh?" He smirked.

I rolled my eyes and sat next to him. "Well, the snacks are mostly for me. The  _movies_  are for you."

He raised an eyebrow and reached over to pop a pretzel into his mouth. "You sure about that?" He asked around it.

"I  _was_  until you did that!" I laughed.

"That's besides the point. What movies do you have plans to culture me with?"

I counted then on my fingers as I listed them out loud. " _Titanic, Romeo and Juliet,_ Leo DiCap style, and  _Tangled_."

"What the heck is  _Tangled_? Sounds like it's gonna be a documentary about how yarn is made."

There was an awkward silence while I stared at Tyler, disappointed. "It's  _Disney_ ," I said sadly. "A  _classic_." He nodded and I got the first of two movies started on Netflix.

*****

"So her hair... _glows_." Tyler repeated, doubtful.

"Didn't you pay attention?" I laughed. "It's when she activates her powers!"

"So like a glow stick on the flip side? Instead of being toxic, it heals and brings dudes back to life."

" _N-_ Sure, yeah. A reverse glow stick."

Tyler nodded. "Okay...so what was happening in the beginning of  _Titanic_?"

"Jack got a deal or something to be in a good cabin on the ship," I answered patiently.

Tyler nodded again. Then he stood up, grabbed my hands, and pulled me up. "Come on, lets go somewhere. It's my turn to culture you."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. We're driving."

We locked up my house and got in my car. He went to mess with the radio but I swatted his hand away.

"Ow! What-"

"Driver's car, driver's music," I put simply. I plugged in my phone and put the  _In Utero_  album on shuffle. I made sure we were both buckled before backing out of my driveway.

"So where am I going?" I ask.

"Turn left at the stoplight just before your store," he replied. I raised my eyebrow and didn't ask any more questions until he told he to turn right into a Taco Bell parking lot five minutes later.

I cut the engine but didn't unbuckle. "You wanted to take me...to a restaurant chain?"

The grin in Tyler's face was almost contagious. "I sure did. Come on, there are some people here I want you to meet."

"Wait, what?"

But Tyler was already pulling me out of my seat by then and rushing me to lock the car.

"Tyler, it is ten at night!"

"They'll be awake at this time," he assured me.

"You're crazy!"

He winked at me. "All the best people are." Then he opened the door.

Right away, some dude with a lot of tattoos stood on his chair and waved us over.

"Yo, Joseph, Bluey, get your asses over here!"

"Peter, how many times do I have to tell you?" Tyler sighed. "Please don't swear."

"As many times as it takes for you to stop calling me 'Peter,'" Peter sassed and turned to me. "I'm Pete."

"Josh," I said cautiously.

Pete sat back down and scooted closer to the boy next to him. Pete pat the open spot. "Joseph, here. Ian, Jared, scoot your asses and let Josh sit."

The two boys opposite Pete grumbled but did as they were told.

"Don't swear." The unknown, blond boy mumbled.

Pete lounged his arms around Tyler's and the blond's shoulders. "Casey should be out with our food any minute-"

"When did  _Tyler_  get here? And who's the blue dude?!" The waiter who had come up to us gasped. He set the heaping tray on our table and started getting out a notepad. "I-I usually don't do this but-"

"Casey, we already ordered for them..." The boy right next to me sighed. "Josh, Tyler, this is our friend Casey. Casey, Bluey is Josh and Tyler is the smol bean."

Tyler pouted. "I'm not  _small!_ Oliver is shorter than me!"

The boy next to Pete gasped, so I assumed he was Oliver. "Stop  _picking_  on me, Tyler!"

"He picks on me too," I assured him. "You're no longer alone."

Casey just looked confused but put the notepad away anyway. "Alright... So this is good?" He gestured to the mountain of food.

Tyler was already picking through it. "Is the chalupa special in here at all?"

Casey shrugged. "I don't know. Y'all just ordered so much that it took a bunch of us to remember your order."

"Most of it is gonna be eaten by Tyler anyway," the other boy on my side of the table mumbled.

"We ordered the chalupa special  _just_  for you, Ty." Pete said, clapping my friend on the back.

"I'm Jared, by the way." The boy next to me said.

"And I'm Ian!" The boy on Jared's other side chimed in.

A girl with black and purple hair came up with cups. "You forgot their cups, Casey." She mumbled before going away.

"And sodas, apparently." Tyler said, grabbing his. "I'm impressed. Come with me, Josh."

He stood up and grabbed my arm before I even had time to process what he said. I snatched up a cup just in time. Tyler got Sprite while I got Pepsi.

"So, what do you think about my friends?" He muttered. "Not too rowdy for you?"

I shrugged. "Pete's a little more out there than what I'm comfortable with, but otherwise they're okay."

Tyler nodded. "Okay, good. Good that you're not offended or anything, I mean. They can just be a bit rough and I don't want to hurt your feelings."

"Um...thank you," I said, not sure how to respond.

We went back to the table and Pete and Jared went to go get soda. I sat next to Ian and took in his black, curly hair.

"You like whatcha see?" He smirked, obviously catching my staring.

"I straight," I told him. "Sorry, kiddo."

He sighed. "Man! I was  _sure_  you'd be the one-" He widened his eyes and looked at Tyler.

"What?" Tyler asked slowly.

"Oh," Ian replied. "Nothing, really..."

Suddenly, I jerked back awake. "Woah-!"

Tyler laughed. "Don't worry, Josh. You only dozed off for about a minute."

I rubbed my palm into my eye. "Dang...I should probably go home...Tyler, did you leave anything in my car or house?"

Tyler shook his head and stood up. "No, but about that...You're falling asleep and I don't really want you driving..."

I covered my mouth as I yawned. "Yeah...Okay. Are you gonna...gonna spend the night spend the night then...? What about your...your parents?"

"Out of town," Tyler answered. "Anyway, lets get going. It's nearly midnight anyway. Bye, guys," he added to his friends.

"Catch you later," Pete replied.

"Adios, amigos." Ian said.

Oliver and Jared just waved and said 'bye.'

Tyler held onto my shoulder as we walked out to my car. I leaned on the passenger side. "Josh, I need your keys." He mumbled.

"Back pocket," I told him.

He tugged on my lanyard and unlocked my door. "You cane get in yourself." He was already moving to the driver's side. I whined and got into my seat. Tyler didn't start the car until we were buckled.

"Please try to stay awake on the way there," he asked. "I don't want to have to carry you in."

"Why not? That'd be cute."

I could see the blush on his cheeks when we passed under the street lights. "You're pure muscle and I am pure small," he said.

"Why do you want to spend the night?" I asked. "The night is almost over anyway. Plus we've just met."

I almost fell asleep waiting for his answer. "Because I don't want to be alone," he whispered. "My parents are out of town the first time in-"

"You really didn't have to answer," I interrupted. "I'm just saying."

Tyler parked my car and stared at me. A minute later he chuckled and shook his head. "Never you mind. You're hardly awake right now anyway."

"I'm  _plenty_  awake, thank you." I unbuckled and tried to open my door, but it was locked. I let out a short laugh. "Tyler, unlock my door."

"No," he replied simply.

I unlocked the door myself but Tyler was quick to lock it again. " _Tyler_ , unlock my door!" I turned to face him.

"Why do you trust me?" He asked quietly.

"Why do  _you_  trust  _me?"_ I shot back at him.

"Because you haven't taken advantage of me. Simple."

I raised my eyebrows. "Well, there you have it then. Now  _please_  unlock my door!"

"We just met," he pointed out, repeating our earlier conversation.

"Okay, so how about this: We take you home and I drive myself back here?" I snapped.

"I told you that I didn't want to be alone." Tyler argued.

"Let me out."

He sighed and unlocked our doors. "Alright, fine. Lets go and crash on the couches, I guess..."

" _Thank_  you," I mumbled, opening my door.

Once inside, we got the extra blankets that I had out from the hallway closet. Tyler laid down on the couch closest to the kitchen, and I chose the other. "Are we...just gonna go to sleep then?" He asked tentatively. 

I nodded and snuggled into my couch. "Yeah...if you don't mind..."

"O-Oh. Yeah, no. I-I don't mind. G'night, Josh."

"Night, Tyler."


	5. Four

I woke up so very groggy the next day. I wasn't sure why I wasn't in my room or why there was the smell of food coming from the kitchen. The only thing that had made sense for me to do was freak out and fall off my couch, tangled up in my blanket in the end.

"Josh, you okay?" Someone asked, sounding far away. I racked my brain for who it could possibly be when yesterday evening and night came back to me.

"Tyler, are you making breakfast?"

"I...I was bored, plus it's almost ten anyway. Do-Do you want help with...untangling yourself from your blankets?"

I pushed and pulled at the soft, fluffy fabric for about thirty seconds before I gave up. "Okay, yes. If you don't mind, that is."

Tyler chuckled and a moment later he's pulling at the blanket too. "Josh, how did you  _manage_  this?" He asked.

"I don't know," I mumbled. "I just fell off the couch and this became a thing."

We finally freed me from the blankets and went into the kitchen. On the table there were plates filled with bacon, waffles, eggs and two glasses of orange juice.

"This is my entire pantry, Tyler." I teased him.

He rolled his eyes. "No it's not, I went to the store too. Do you not work today?"

"No. At least I  _shouldn't_ ," I replied. Tyler gave me a look that suggested that I better find out.

I sighed and got out my phone to dial Janette. She picked up on the second ring.

"Joshua, you better not be thinking about coming into work today." She said, not bothering with a friendlier greeting. "It is your day off, you can survive  _one_  day without caressing the counter."

I laughed. "Wow. Um...okay. I don't wanna come to work today."

"Good boy. Now go hang out with Tyler. I know here's over there with you."

"Thanks, Janette. See you tomorrow." I hung up the phone with her yelling at somebody at the store.

"I'm guessing you work today?" Tyler asked sarcastically.

I scoffed. "Oh, yeah. Totally. Well, what do you want to do today?"

"Go to Taco Bell," he immediately answered.

I blinked and shook my head. "What? No, we literally  _just_ got back from there, and we're already eating what you so graciously made!"

" _Any_  time is time to go to Taco Bell!" Tyler groaned. "Plus, I don't have any other plans."

"We could go skating." I suggested with a shrug of my shoulders. "I could pay for both of us to get into the fun centre that's like twenty minutes away."

"You're not paying for me." Tyler said quickly.

" _I'm_  the one with a job, last I checked," I snapped. "Besides, I  _want_  to. Come on, now we've  _got_  to go. You can borrow some of my clothes and shower if you want to."

"But Josh, I-Wait, why do I need to borrow some of your clothes?"

I gestured to yesterday's clothes that we were both wearing. "Because I'm guessing you don't want to go out in public wearing what you did yesterday, and that you didn't bring clothes to change into, and I doubt you want to run home real quick."

Tyler cleared his throat. "Oh. Good point. Just let me help clea-"

"No, you made breakfast. Come with me to get you some clothes. Are you showering?"

"I don't want to impose," he mumbled.

"You're showering." I affirmed with a nod. "And you're not imposing."

"But I went ahead to go to the store and then make breakfast in  _your_ kitchen!" He argued.

I tried not to sigh so impatiently as I turned to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Tyler," I said quietly. "I really don't mind, okay? We can get you some of my clothes to borrow so that you can shower."

"Are you gonna shower too? Because then I can hurry-"

I shook my head. "No, I'm not gonna shower. Take all the time you need. Seriously."

Tyler glared at me but argued no further. I nodded and led him down to my room. As he awkwardly stayed by the door, I went about getting him a shirt and some pants. I debated on whether or not to let him borrow some underwear too, but that would have just been weird and gross. I had to keep reminding myself that we had just met a few days ago, even though I would have gladly given him some underwear if it meant that he could have fresh ones.

I tossed the clothes at him, which he caught smoothly. "There you go. And I'm assuming you know where the bathroom is," I added, smirking. His face grew pale pink as he nodded.

"Uh-Yeah, I do." I didn't try to respond as he scurried away.

I didn't know what to do with myself before it was my turn to shower. Yes, I lied to Tyler, but it really was the only way for me to get him to shower. I pulled out some fresh clothes for myself and put them next to me on my bed. I pulled out my phone to browse around on the Internet.

I didn't even hear the water turn off and got startled when Tyler spoke. "You can shower now," he whispered. "And thanks for making me shower."

I put my phone aside and nodded. I picked up my clothes and walked to the bathroom. "Thanks, Ty. I won't be long."

And long I certainly wasn't. I got dressed and left the bathroom, leaving my hair alone. I walked into my bedroom to see Tyler laying face down on my bed, passed out. His phone was in his hand and right next to his face.

"Geez, Tyler..." I muttered, just then thinking about how much sleep he didn't get. I found his dirty clothes and put them in the laundry hamper with my own. I went out to the front room to grab his blanket so that I could drape it over him.

"We'll skate some other time," I muttered, sighing and walking out to let him sleep in peace.


	6. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety attack warning. Some substance use mentions too

Tyler half-screamed from upstairs, reminding me that he was asleep in my bed. I ran upstairs and literally tripped into my room. I rolled over to see him with tears on his cheeks.

"Ty-Tyler...What's wrong?"

"I told you I didn't want to impose," he said bitterly His tone sent chills down my spine.

"You're  _not_ ," I said, getting impatient. "You fell  _asleep,_ God knows that you needed the sleep."

"Not like it helped me relax." His bitter tone was still there. "But whatever." He got up and stepped over me.

I scrambled to stand up and follow him down the stairs. "W-Where are you going?"

"Um...home?" He paused by my front door.

_You messed it up, Joshua._

I shook my head and stilled my shaking hands. "Tyler, I don't get why you're throwing a fit over-"

"I am  _not_  throwing a fit, Josh!" Tyler snapped. He stormed out before I could apologise and rephrase my sentence.

_Nice going._

"Shut up." I muttered. I collapsed on my couch, having no energy to stand anymore. Not only were my hands shaking, but it felt as if my innards were as well. Pressure was swiftly building on my head, and I had to press down on my ears to try in vain to get it to stop. My breathing was increasing rapidly and I was losing control of my tears.

_Why are you crying about this, Joshua? Is your world ending? I think it's raining, Joshua. Tyler didn't have an umbrella, he's going to catch a cold. But oh no, he won't want your help. His house is probably just down the street. He'll be fine._

"Just try me." I pushed myself up and grabbed an umbrella near the door. I yanked open the door.

"Tyler, wait!"

I wasn't sure if it was fortunate or not that Tyler was coming up my driveway. It was  _certainly_  unfortunate that it wasn't really raining.

Tyler's eyebrows were furrowed. "Josh, what's up? I just forgot my phone..." He looked at the umbrella in my hand and the confused look deepened. "Josh, I don't think it's going to rain."

I had to come up with a quick, good excuse. "I, uh... I hate the sun so sometimes I bring an umbrella for shade."

His eyes narrowed. My heart skipped a few beats and I was scared he could see right through me. He only nodded.

"If that ain't me. Look, Josh. I'm sorry about storming out like-"

"No, Tyler, it's my fault. I needed to say better words. I know that you weren't really throwing a fit-"

"Your hands are shaking." He held onto my hands with both of his. "What happened? I was only gone for like, five minutes."

That was impossible. A lot more time than that had passed while...

_Oh dear....We lost track of time again._

"I think I should go back to bed." I mumbled.

"Yeah, me too..." Tyler frowned. "Josh, are you really okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know, probably because you're grimacing every few seconds, and you're clammy and shaky."

I consciously pulled my hands from Tyler's grip and wiped them on my pants. "Oh."

"Josh, come on. Are you okay? And  _please_  don't come up with a lame excuse."

"I'll be okay." I walked into my house, knowing that he'll follow.

I plopped down on my couch and waited for Tyler to start looking for his phone. When I didn't hear him go upstairs, I flipped over. He was still standing in the doorway.

"You can come in." I said.

"No, I know..." He trailed off, looking hesitant.

"Tyler, I'm okay now." It was half true. I was still a little unnecessarily worked up, but those bouts usually went away after a minute or so.

"Why  _weren't_  you though? Was..Was it me leaving? Why would you be upset over me  _leaving?_ "

"It was nothing," I mumbled. "It wasn't as big as it could possibly have been."

" _Josh,_  I swear to God that if you don't tell me-" His eyes widened, and I knew he had me figured out. "You-you didn't...Why would my leaving trigger an anxiety attack?"

_He's got you now._

As if I didn't already come to that conclusion.

"Because I-I want to...are we friends?" I asked.

"Of course we are." Tyler whispered.

"J-Just checking." I paused, unsure if he wanted me to continue or not. "A-Anyway, I-I was scared that-that we  _wouldn't_  be...anymore..."

Tyler looked sad. "Oh...of course we would be. I couldn't stay mad at you forever."

"You don't know me," I argued.

"Yeah, well you don't know me either, and yet you were worrying over losing me." He pointed out.

No matter how much I didn't like it, he had a point.

"No one asked you," I said very maturely.

"Does it look like I care?" He looked very serious about his question.

" _Somebody's_  sassy today..." I observed.

He snorted. "And somebody's  _drunk_."

"Please. You're talking to a straight edge."

He sat next to me. "Um...you know that has nothing to do with  _drinking_ , right?"

"I rest my case." I replied, refusing to give away that I didn't really know.

"Josh!" Tyler laughed. "A straight edge is someone who's never done  _drugs_!"

"I rest. My case." I repeated.

"You are. A  _dweeb_."

"I am  _not_!"

"Yeah, you are!"

I pouted. "You're outta the band."

Tyler had a double take. "W-What band? We didn't even start one!"

"Well, when we do, you're out of it." I huffed.

"Stop  _picking_  on me!" Tyler whined.

I gave him a look of disbelief. " _I'm_ picking on  _you_?  _You're_ the one making fun of me for not knowing what a straight edge was!"

Tyler pointed at me. "Oh, so you admit to not knowing what it means!"

" _Of course_  I don't know what it-oh." He fell onto the ground from laughing so hard. I tried to make an argument that was more pro-Josh, but he wouldn't have it.

"You can't tease me about this!" I cried, recalling our conversation from the other day.

 _That_  made him stop laughing. "You can't use that against me," he said quickly. "This is something different."

"No, it's really not. You're still picking on me."

Suddenly, he was up in my face, hovering over me and straddling me. "I can pick on you all I want, I'm punk rock."

There was an unpleasant pain in my nether areas. Very unpleasant and very unwelcome. "T-Ty, your knee-" I gasped.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What about it? Why are you-" He gasped and leapt off me. "I'm so sorry, Josh!"

"It's okay," I wheezed, holding my area a little bit. "Just a little sore now."

"You sure?" He asked, concerned.

"Uh huh."

We didn't really know what to do with the rest of that day, seeing as it was a little past two in the afternoon. Tyler's parents didn't come back home in three more days, and he didn't want to be home alone. Neither of us knew what he was to do while I was at work the next day.

"You could just stay here," I offered millions of times. "And you wouldn't be imposing." I added before he could make that argument.

"No, I should go tidy up my house a bit." He sighed.

"But no one's been there." I reasoned.

"Okay, let me rephrase: I've got to dust and vacuum."

I groaned. "Okay. Tomorrow at five, will you be back here?"

"Yeah, sure. If you want me to."

"Lets go to Taco Bell." I offered.

"Got you hooked?" He snickered.

"Nah, I'm just bored and it seems to make you happy."

I could see the blush creeping across his cheeks. "Well, maybe it does. What's it to you, Mr I'm-Straight-and-Don't-Know-What-A-Straight-Edge-Is?"

I gaped at him. "Go sit in the corner and think about your life."

"What if I don't wanna?" He smirked.

"I will never show you a rare picture of Leonardo DiCaprio." I threatened.

Tyler legitimately looked scared. "Wait, what?! I-I mean,  _yes_ , I will totally go sit in the corner and think about my life-and how hot Leonardo DiCaprio is."

I smirked. "'How hot Leonardo DiCaprio is?' Really?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Yes, shut up."

"To each their own." I teased.

"Oh, whatever! Like you don't think he's hot too!"

"I do," I replied without missing a beat. "Doesn't everyone?"

Tyler was quiet for a bit.

"Am I right or am I right?"

"Shut up."


	7. Six

"Jooossssshhh are you and Tyler together yet or noooot?" Janette whined.

I shook my head impatiently. "No, Janette, I already told you. I'm straight and Tyler isn't making me realise that I'm not. I love you Janette, I do, but  _honestly_. We're just friends."

She frowned. "You sure, kiddo?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but no words were coming out. Janette narrowed her eyes at me. I did it right back.

"We're just friends," I repeated.

"Yeah sure. When is your shift over?"

"In an hour and a half. Why?"

She groaned. "Aw, man. If it were like, thirty minutes, I would have let you off early. Better just get to work, kiddo."

I laughed. "Will do."

******

I had called Tyler when I got home that I was there. I decided to take a quick shower to rinse off the dirt and grime that was surely there. I honestly hated work because of all the little kids that needed your help for their parents and the way they grappled you.

I changed into some gym shorts and a tank top before heading downstairs. Just as I was passing into the kitchen, a knock sounded on my door. I skidded backwards to a stop, but lost my footing. "Come i-OW!"

The front door opened and Tyler came in sheepishly. "I didn't want t-Josh?!" He rushed over and helped me up. "You okay?!" He asked. He started to check me for any injuries.

I nodded, rubbing the back of my head. "Yeah, I'm fine..."

He nodded and stepped back. He clasped his hands behind his back and started rocking back and forth. "So...I had an idea of what we can do today." He announced.

I gestured for us to go sit in the front room. We sat down on the couch. More like  _I_  sat down on the couch while Tyler sat on my coffee table. I of course didn't mind.

"So I think we should write down bucket lists," he said with a bit of a blush on his cheeks. "And do them together, ya know?"

I nodded and got my phone. "Alright, bucket lists it is then."

Tyler widened his eyes. "Wait, really?"

I went to the memos in my phone. "I mean, why not?"

He might as well have been a Christmas tree. "Oh! Great!"

Together we brainstormed a practically matched list of fifteen.

_Record a song and send it to a label company  
_ _Skinny dip in the ocean  
_ _Smoke weed  
_ _Travel to Canada and see what all the fuss is about  
_ _Travel to London to see what all the fuss is about  
_ _Parkour on top of city buildings like the Avengers  
_ _Go to Disney World  
_ _Go to Utah's Lagoon  
_ _Hold a snake  
_ _Get tattoos  
_ _Perform #1 in front of a crowd  
_ _Crash a random person's prom  
_ _Get kicked out of a hotel  
_ _Get kicked out of an airport  
_ _Paint a wall with graffiti_

The last two items on my list were:

_Get a nose piercing  
_ _Kiss a boy_

Tyler had one different from mine too:

_Kiss a straight boy_

I snorted. "Kiss a straight boy? Getting into specifics, Ty?"

He nodded. "Yeah, man. And another-"

He quickly typed up a seventeenth goal.  I looked over his shoulder and then looked at him with concern.

"Dude, that's...that's a little messed up, honestly."

He blushed,  but from anger or embarrassment I didn't know. "Yeah...I know. But my parents have  _both_  done this, and look at them now... It'll be  _scary,_  yeah....but this is what I want to do."

I nodded slowly. "Oh....okay."

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows. "That's it? Just 'okay?'"

"Well, what do you  _want_  me to say? I'm not one to argue with what you want for you."

"Nothing, I guess..." He admitted. "I just thought that you would react another way, you know? Like, negatively."

"I  _am_  concerned, but it's none of my business."

He frowned. "Are you angry?"

"What? No, I'm not  _angry_ -"

"But you _are_ upset."

I sighed. "Sure, yeah. I just-You gotta-"

"Josh, I know. I'm sorry for pushing you." Tyler looked really hurt.

I pulled him in for a hug. "It's okay, man. Really."

A moment passed before he finally gave in with an 'okay.'


	8. Seven

Tyler and I didn't want to stay inside forever. We had that bucket list to do anyway, so why not go see what we were able to do right away?

"Lets go get tattoos." I suggested. Tyler was quick to say no.

"No, I wanna be calm and prepared for it," he said. "You gotta put a lot of thought into tattoos."

"Hmm...Yeah, I guess."

"We don't have to go and get everything done right away anyway," he continued with a laugh. "We could have this finally done when we're forty."

"Okay, gotcha." We were quiet for a moment before I asked, "So what  _could_  we get done today?"

He laughed again. "I don't know!"

I stood and pulled him up with me. "Let's go run the town today."

"Run the town?" His eyebrows were furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. Run the town, wander around, you know. Just travel inside the city. I'm  _bored_ , Tyler!" I added, whining.

He chuckled, his eyes closing in the meantime. "Oh, alright. You've got me convinced."

We left my house and locked the door before we headed down the street.

"We could go to the skate park." I suggested.

He put a hand on my shoulder. "Josh, we didn't bring any boards with us."

"Oh, yeah..."

"How about we find some swings?" He offered. "It's better than nothing."

We walked to the park and went to the swings. I didn't sit on a seat like Tyler did. Instead, I ran and jumped, latching onto a vertical pole. I wrapped my legs around it and waited for my body to flip. I shimmied my way up to the top horizontal pole. Unwrapping my legs, I pulled myself up to sit on the bar. Tyler was squeaking and worrying the whole time. "Josh,  _please_  don't fall!"

I laughed. "I won't, I promise!" I gripped the pole harder.

"I mean it!"

"So do I! Climb up here with me."

" _What_?!"

"Why not? I'll help you up."

"No  _thanks."_

I shrugged. "Suit yourself then." I looked out over the park. When I saw someone in the distance, I squinted. "Tyler, come on." I muttered.

Tyler looked up at me with alarm. "Wha-Why?"

I was already carefully lowering myself down with my arms. As soon as I was hanging with my arms relaxed and my hands gripping the bar, I dropped, tucking in my legs.

Tyler screamed. "Josh! You-"

I stood and covered his mouth. "Tyler, shut it."

His eyes widened and he nodded. I slowly lowered my hand and turned away. The stranger was closer now, and I could just barely make out the man's messy hair.

"It's Kellin." I groaned and jogged to him.

"Uh-Who?" Tyler asked, jogging with me.

"Kellin," I repeated. "My...friend?"

By then, Kellin had reached us and was smirking. "Your friend, huh? Never thought you'd call me  _that,_  not since I-"

"What do you want?" I snapped.

He frowned. "Well, I  _wanted_  to sit on the playground and smoke."

I hesitated. "Cigarette or a joint?"

He scoffed  "Whatdya  _think_? A joint, man! Why else would Jordan have-"

"Who's Jordan?" Tyler asked. He seemed to understand the situation and covered his mouth.

Kellin squinted at him. "Who's this, Joshua?"

I stepped in front of Tyler. "More of a friend than you think  _you've_  been."

Kellin smirked. "Alright. So why did you ask? Want a joint or something?"

"So what if I did?"

"Josh-" Tyler started.

"Your brother won't be too happy with this, you know." Kellin said and dug his hands into his pockets.

"Never has been." I replied.

"Number three?" Tyler asked.

Kellin looked confused. "Uh, what?"

"Yeah, Ty," I said, ignoring Kellin. "Number three."

"Uh...the bathroom?" Kellin asked. "It's right over-stop laughing at me!"

I shook my head and calmed down. "Sorry. Let's go to your place for a joint."

Kellin became all business again. He nodded at Tyler and asked me, "You sure he'd do okay over there?"

I looked at my friend, taking in his small frame. "Stick with us, Ty. Okay?"

He nodded. "You bet."


	9. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Le substance use

"Josh," Tyler whispered. "I don't-"

I put an arm around his shoulders. I helped him avoid stepping on something vile. Then I steered him away from running into a fence. "As long as you're with me," I murmured. "You will be fine. Do you trust me?"

"I do, but this-"

"Tyler, I know this is scary," I explained quickly. "But as soon as we're at Kellin and Katelynne's, we'll be good. Kellin may come out as a jerk, but he's sweet and can't  _stand_  disorganisation."

"Katelynne?"

"His wife."

"And he's a  _drug dealer_?"

"Um...more or less. More like regular customer."

We've stopped in front of Kellin's door, and he turned to us. "Okay, so Katelynne'll be home. She'll ask questions; just let me do the talking."

Tyler and I nodded. Kellin returned the nod and led us in.

"Babe, I'm home! I brought a couple-"

A woman with dark brown hair walked in from the kitchen. At first, she looked excited. As soon as she saw me and Tyler though, she frowned. "Kellin, isn't that-"

"Yeah, it is."

"Jordan will be mad."

"I know. They know. C'mon, guys." He added to Tyler and me.

We obligingly followed him to his room. Tyler almost backed out, but I didn't know why. Tyler and I sat on the bed as Kellin went into is closet.

"Josh." Tyler said.

"Number three." I replied.

Kellin came back to us with the drugs and gave his luggage to me reluctantly. "You first, Dun."

I rolled a joint between my thumb and forefinger. "Light me up." I told Tyler.

Kellin hesitated in handing the lighter to a wide-eyed Tyler. I put the joint between my lips and waited patiently for Tyler to light it for me. I made a mental note to thank him later for his quick thinking.

"How-How do you..." Tyler started.

I took a drag off the joint and passed it to Kellin. I was trying not to choke. "I watched my brother and Kellin get high all the time." I said casually.

Kellin passed the joint to Tyler. Tyler's hesitation was long enough for Kellin to squint. "Straight edge." He grumbled. "Here, Ty, lemme-"

"No, I  _got_  it!" Tyler snapped. He kept eye contact with me the whole time he took a drag. He choked, making Kellin laugh.

"Kid, you might be-"

I hit his arm. Tyler had quickly passed the joint to me, his face red. By the time he had the joint again, he was ready. He had watched Kellin and I take drags and I'm sure he made mental notes. He didn't choke or grimace by the third.

My head was already heavy and airy by the second. Everything seemed so amusing.

"My world is gone." Tyler giggled.

Kellin shook his head. "Nah, man. That's not exactly what you're feeling."

Tyler looked like he was having difficulty furrowing his eyebrows. "Or  _I'm_  gone."

"You'll never be gone." I said quickly.

He gave me a hard look. I thought he would respond with something equally as deep, but he only snorted and laughed. "Aw, thanks, man!" He wheezed. I laughed back.

Kellinn scoffed. "You crazy fucking kids."

Tyler and I both gasped, but not even the cuss word was able to sober us up.

Katelynne came in and leaned up against the door frame. "Kellin..." Kellin shot a look at her, but didn't reply.

Tyler, apparently, was having the time of his life. "What if we built a rocketship?" He asked.

I tilted my head and almost fell over. I laughed as I righted myself. "Out of what?"

Tyler pointed outside the house. "The swing set."

" _Kellin_ ," Katelynne tried again, and that time more successfully.

Kellin rolled his eyes. " _What_ , Katelynne?"

I suddenly heard sirens in the distance.

"They think he's Jordan." Katelynne explained coldly. "You-"

Kellin dropped the f-bomb and swiped the joint from my lips. "Hey!" I protested.

He ignored me as he opened his window. "You two,  _out_. Now!"

I frowned. "What, why?"

Tyler was already leaping out the window. Kellin dragged me to the window.

"Josh, you need to  _leave-_ babe, air freshener?!"

I didn't clamber out as gracefully as Kellin did. He had the drugs in hand and hurled them onto the roof.

"Wha-Why did you-"

Kellin grabbed my hand and grabbed Tyler's elbow. He half-dragged us away from his house at a sprint. We turned down a really dark alleyway between a fence and the building. On the other side of the fence was a forest. The cold, biting air was clearing up my mind a little. "Kell, what's-"

He threw us at the fence. "Climb the damn thing. Go home!"

Tyler looked confused. "What?"

Kellin's eyes were wide with fear. "Josh, don't end up like Jordan and Chad." He ran back to his house.

Tyler grabbed me. "Jordan and Chad?"

"Our brothers."

"What happened to them?"

"Caught by the fuzz for- _Oh_."

I put Tyler's hands on the fence. I did the same and started climbing.

"Josh, I can't-"

I reached down and grabbed one of his hands. "Put your feet in the links. Use your free hand, I'll help with this one."

Tears had started streaming down his cheeks. "Josh, everything is wobbly! How could we-"

I growled and dropped to the ground. I pulled at the bottom of the fence until there was the tiniest hole. "Go through, and hurry. I can't hold it for long."

Tyler dropped down beside me and wormed his way through the opening. Once he was through, I scrambled over the fence. I dropped down on the other side ungracefully, rolling.

"Josh! Are you-"

I stood and grabbed his hand.

_Wake up, sober up, let me think!_

"Run," I told him.

We ran through the trees with difficulty. The ground did not agree with our feet, and our feet did not agree with out drugged brains. I couldn't even focus on three feet ahead of me.

" _Josh_ _!_ "

I collided with something large and rough. I let go of Tyler's hand as I fell back.

"Josh, Josh, get up, that was a tree-"

I shook my head and pushed myself up. "I'm okay. C'mon, we gotta get to the clearing-"

" _What_  clearing? What's going  _on?!"_

"The  _cops_ , Tyler, the  _cops_!"

_"Why?"_

"Because Kellin's neighbour is a snitch!"

We were running deeper and deeper into the forest. The light was becoming dimmer and dimmer.

"How far is the clearing?" Tyler asked.

"We're almost there."

I saw a purple bandanna tied around a tree, and I veered right of it. The light was getting brighter at a much quicker pace now. Then we broke out into a glade with bright green grass and wildflowers.

We didn't stop running until I tripped, Tyler coming down with me.

I rolled onto my back and panted. "Number three...done. Never...again."

"Do you think...Kellin and Katelynne...will be okay?" Tyler asked.

I turned my head. He too was laying on his back, but he was looking up at the sky.

"I hope so." I answered truthfully.


	10. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jordan is older in this fic, and i love him uNconDITionallY just fyi.  
> tw; assumptions of an eating disorder

"I can't believe you had the fucking  _nerve_  to smoke weed!" Pete screamed when he and Oliver came to get us. " _God_ , Josh, Tyler! What the  _hell_ were you two thinking?!"

"A bucket list..." I mumbled. Tyler was looking down at a flower in his hands.

Pete's face fell to a poker face, scaring me witless. Oliver knew right away what was going to happen and he got in Pete's way. "Pete, he's an adult for-" Pete easily stepped past him and launched at me. Pete knocked me to the ground and pinned me there by my biceps. He knees were on either side of my hips, pressing in. I gripped his wrists, but he was much stronger than me. "God _dammit_ , Pete!" Oliver cried.

Tyler was trying to put Pete off me. "Peter, for heaven's sake, let him  _go!_ "

"You fucking turn behind Jordan's back-" Pete started to yell before I interrupted.

"How do you know my brother?!" I shouted back. "And how did you even  _know_  he was my brother?!"

"You look like him, dumbass! He left his best friend for that  _Quinn_  kid! You know?! Remember Tobias?!"

I had a double take. "Pete, that was five  _years_  ago!"

"They were just fifteen! Just fifteen and-Jordan was a  _damn_  good kid!"

"I  _know!_ I'm an adult now! He is too! I  _hate_ Kellin, it wasn't like we had wanted to smoke with him, of all people!"

"It's true, Peter!" Tyler rushed. "Josh wanted us to leave the park before Kellin had seen us!"

"Pete, get off the kid." Oliver demanded.

"You're still a kid," Pete said, his voice at a normal volume. "You need to keep yourself alive, to have experience."

"That's what a bucket list is for," I snapped.

Pete let go of my biceps but stayed on me. "A bucket list? That's what you two are doing? A  _bucket list?_ "

"It was  _my_  idea!" Tyler cried. The sun was glistening a reflection off of the tears on his face. The sun warmed up the brown colour in his eyes to make them look more rich and amber.

"Stay out of this." Pete said in a monotone.

" _No."_  Tyler insisted. "Smoking weed was  _my_  idea for the bucket list!"

Pete ignored him and got out his phone to call someone. "Come get Tyler and Josh, please. The Quinns' clearing. Mmhmm. I-Fine, send _them_ , then." Pete hung up and got off me. I stood quick and swung at him. He was faster in ducking and kicking my feet out from under me. My head hit the ground and I was dazed.

"Peter! What the hell?!" Tyler screamed.

"Pete! Apologise and lets take them home!" Oliver ordered.

"Nope," Pete said simply, his hands on his hips. "Ian and Casey are." Pete didn't stop to let Oliver pull and tug on him as he walked away.

A hand gently touched the top of my head. I hissed in pain. "Sorry!" Tyler's voice said. "Here, sit up...I'll help you."

It was a sore process to sit up. Even then I was using Tyler a little bit as support. He had a hand on my back and the other on my knee. I rest my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.

"You okay, Josh?" Tyler asked tentatively.

I shrugged. "Yeah, sure..."

"Just...'sure'?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I mean, there's nothing to really say about it."

"I'm...I'm not talking about Peter hurting you."

I looked at him and frowned. "Then wha-...oh."

No, no,  _no_. I certainly did not want to talk about Jordan and Tobias, and with  _Tyler_ of all people.

"You knew Tobias?" He asked quitely.

I nodded. "Yeah...did you?"

"No," he whispered. "I've really only known Pete for three years, and Pete talks about him a  _lot._ He goes on and on about how he hoped I wouldn't end up like Tobias." His words were like millions of microscopic scalpels slowly digging into my skin. The pain was one that demanded to be endured, despite situations.

"Tyler, Tyler, I'm so sorry about-"

"What?" Tyler looked genuinely bewildered. "Why are you apologising?"

"For dragging you down-down the road that Jordan did to Tobias..."

"Josh, you-"

"What else has Peter said about Jordan?"

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows. "That he didn't like Jordan, and he thought that his younger brother would... _oh_."

His face fell, scaring me. "T-Tyler? That Jordan's younger brother would what?"

"That-That he would do the same...to me.." He whispered, avoiding my gaze.

I could feel the sweat from my hands on my face and sat up straight to wipe them on my pants. "Tyler, I never-"

"It was  _my_  idea to smoke weed though. He continued, ignoring me. "I just don't get why...or how..."

"Please look at me." I pleaded. "Tyler, I won't do what Jordan did, I  _promise_  you." I swallowed the lump that had formed in me throat. I had never before experienced that kind of fear, not even when the cops were after Jordan and Chad. The fear then and the fear I felt on the run with Tyler were nothing,  _nothing_  compared to how I felt waiting for Tyler to look at me. For all I knew, he'd beat me up and go home with everyone, with me left behind.

Tyler finally looked up at me after what seemed like forever. The look on his face was so hurt, lost, and angry that I unconsciously leaned away from him.

"Tyler, what are you thinking?" I whispered.

When he spoke, his tone was laced with anger. "Peter is wrong about you. He is so,  _so- Please tell me he's wrong!"_   He suddenly yelled.

I wanted so,  _so_  badly to assure him. The thing was that I wasn't sure. I would have  _never_  hurt him on purpose, not even on accident.

"Josh..." Tyler whined.

"He's wrong," I whispered. "I won't hurt you. I would rather  _die_  than hurt you."

He hit my arm. "Don't  _say_  that!" He cried.

"It's  _true-"_

"I don't want to think about it!" He pressed the insides of his wrists to his head. "Josh, I wouldn't...I can't..."

I held onto his wrists. "I won't." I croak.

"Tyler, Josh?" Ian called out. Tyler and I turned to see him and Casey walking to us. "Woah, are you two okay?" Ian continued.

"I just wanna go home..." Tyler cried.

"Ian, Casey, I-" I began, but Casey stopped me.

"Pete's a jerk, but so were Jordan and Chad. Pete has to remember that you're  _not_  Jordan. I can't believe..." He hesitated and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just can't believe none of us noticed...noticed the resemblance."

I nodded slowly I let go of Tyler and stood up. Tyler's head jerked up. "Jo-Josh?"

I started walking out of the glade. "Take Tyler home for me." I told Ian.

"You're coming  _with_." Ian snapped.

I looked at my friends sadly. I looked at Tyler sitting on the ground, tears running down his face and his hands limp in his lap. "No...I'm not." I said. "I can walk home. Thanks for coming for Tyler." Then, I kept walking away.

"Josh!" Casey yelled. "You're coming home whether you and Peter like it or not!"

I almost made it into the trees when Tyler screamed at my back, "Don't leave me alone!"

I stopped, but didn't turn around.

"Friend...please..." He pleaded.

"Ty, forget him!" Casey snapped. "He obvi-"

I fell to my knees. I wasn't able to stop myself from crying anymore. I bent forward and put my palms over my eyes.

Arms wrapped around my shoulders. "Come home with us..." Tyler mumbled.

"I-I'm so sorry..." I choked out. "I never...I didn't..."

Tyler shushed me. "I forgive you, Joshua."

"Boys, lets go take you home...You've been through enough in the past twenty-four hours." Casey said.

*****

We dropped Tyler off first so that he could get a better head start to clean his house. When we got to my house, Casey got out with me.

I paused with my key in the lock. "Um...What do you need?"

"I have a feeling that Pete is gonna be here to bully you," he answered. "So I gotta stick up for you against him"

"I can handle him myself." I murmured and opened my front door. He slipped inside before me and scoffed.

"Yeah, apparently."

I shut the door and laid on my couch. "Whatever. Make yourself at home, then."

He stared at me. "What are  _you_  gonna do? Aren't you hungry?"

"No. I don't feel so well, so I'm staying here."

"When was the last time you ate?" I couldn't remember fast enough. Casey narrowed his eyes. "If you can't remember, you need to eat  _now._ "

I groaned. "Casey, I'm not hungry."

"You got  _high_ last night, Josh! You didn't drink any water either, I can tell. Water and food, now."

"You're not my mum," I sassed. "I've got this handled."

"You're an idiot." He snarled.

"Wouldn't be the first time I heard that." I rolled my eyes. "Not a surprise on this end."

"Maybe I  _should_  leave you alone!" Casey yelled.

"Yeah, I think you should too!"

We were quiet for a moment, me breathing hard. Casey just shook his head sadly at me.

"No, I wouldn't. Can't. Tyler would be disappointed in me."

"What does  _Tyler_  have to do with you making sure Pete doesn't kill me?"

"Everything." He sighed and went into the kitchen.

I didn't get any time to ask what he meant before someone knocked on my door. Casey was already running out and opening the door when I sat up.

Pete instantly tried to push past Casey, who was maybe a whole foot taller than him. Oliver was behind Pete, trying to stay out of harm's way.

"Go away!" Pete yelled. "This doesn't  _concern_  you!"

"It concerns Tyler!" Casey yelled back, barring the doorway. "I  _doubt_  this is serious enough to disregard Tyler's feelings! Use your goddamned head!"

"So that he and Tyler don't need to?!" Pete argued. "Yeah fucking  _right_!"

"Peter!" Oliver scolded.

"Shut up, Oliver!" Pete snapped at him.

"Don't tell Oliver to shut up!" I snapped.

Pete pointed at me. " _You_  need to shut up, you have no right to talk."

"Stop being a dick!" Oliver cried. "Josh gets it, they won't smoke weed again!"

"That was enough danger for a lifetime." I tried to reassure him.

Pete finally stopped trying to come in. He glared at me. "Don't you  _dare_  go near Tyler." He snarled, turned on his heel, and walked away.

Oliver's feets stayed planted on my porch. He looked incredibly upset. "Tyler needs you, Josh," he whispered. "Let Peter realise that and cool down. Until then..." He looked around my house. "I'll stay here with you rather you like it or not."


	11. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning. Stay safe and be careful. I think you all are wonderful people, and you are all my pals. Love y'all.

Casey had gone to take Oliver home to get overnight stuff, which wasn't much at all. I already had a stocked kitchen and pantry. Couches and blankets didn't even need a second thought because I had plenty of those.

Sometimes, I forgot that I used to live with Debby. My forgetfulness was funny since her Tesla was still on the driveway.

I argued with Oliver about ten times that day. He kept insisting to stay.

"I really don't want to put up with Pete," he explained. "He would never shut up and I would never sleep." I rolled my eyes and unlocked my phone. "You've gotta eat something." He continued.

I dropped my phone on my chest. "So now  _you're_  gonna drill me about that? Casey already tried."

"It doesn't hurt for someone else to try."

I groaned and went into the kitchen. I made a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table. "Happy?" I snapped.

Oliver rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I am. Thank you."

"Sure thing." I replied sarcastically.

A knock came on my door. Oliver went to go open it. "Oliver, what are you doing here?" I heard Tyler's voice say, obviously surprised.

"Making sure Peter doesn't come murder Josh." Oliver answered.

"Oh." A little bit of silence, then, "So can  _I_  come in?"

"If you eat something." Oliver said.

"I did as soon as I got home. Why do you say that?"

"Because  _somebody_  had to be  _told_  to." Oliver's tone dripped with an obvious  _It was Josh._

"What do you-He wouldn't?!"

"And there is it." I muttered under my breath.

"He is  _now_." Oliver assured Tyler. "But it took me  _and_  Casey."

The door closed and they both came walking in. Tyler marched right up to me and smacked my shoulder. "Ow!" I yelped. "What was _that_  for?!"

"When was the last time you ate?!" Tyler demanded.

"Now!" I pointed my spoon down at my cereal.

"And before now?" He pushed.

I had to think about it. Tyler's eyes widened and he punched my arm. "Josh! If you have to think about it, you haven't ate  _anything_  in a while! And you know how hungry we were after smoking that weed!"

"I'm eating now, that's all that should matter!"

Tyler sniffed. "You gotta take care of yourself."

"Tyler, I  _do_. When was I supposed to have time to get something to eat with everything that happened?!" I went to throw my bowl and spoon into the sink. "Forget it. I ate, I'm showering now."

"We're not done here, Josh!" Tyler cried.

"Well,  _I_  am!"

"Compromise, boys!" Oliver chimed in quickly. "Let Josh shower and then he'll come back and talk like a civil person.  _Right_ , Josh?"

I clenched my jaw. "Sure, Oliver."

******

I was out of the shower and dressed earlier than I would have liked. I sat on my couch and crossed my arms. I waited for Oliver and Tyler to sit down too.

"I ate, I'm fine." I said. "I like food too much to ignore it. I just didn't think about it in the midst of making the bucket lists and getting high."

Tyler looked close to tears. "So you're not..." His Adam's Apple bobbed and he bit his lip.

"No, Tyler, I'm okay..." I whispered.

"I don't like Pete mad at you." He whispered back.

"No one does." Oliver said. "I just hope that Casey and Ian  cooled him and Jared down. Jared's not nearly as bad as Pete when he gets angry. It's just scary because he's so passive-aggressively silent."

Someone knocked on the front door again. I was starting to think that my place was a rendezvous point forced to be part of a routine. Tyler and Oliver exchanged a look before the latter went to open the door.

"Come home, please," Pete immediately said. "I don't want you-" His eyes landed on me and they narrowed. He almost looked back at Oliver, but he caught a glimpse of Tyler. His eyes widened.

"Tyler, what are you doing here?"

Tyler walked closer to me. "Siding with my friend f-"

"You two just met." Pete said coldly.

"We know." Tyler and I said at the same time. Oliver scoffed, then coughed to try and cover that up.

"Peter, do you seriously not see?" He asked.

Peter's eyes flicked to Oliver. "See what? That Josh is a-"

"Bad liar?" Tyler finished. All three of us looked at him, confused. He almost rolled his eyes. "Josh is a bad liar." He repeated. "He's acting all tough right now, like nothing is affecting him, But I guarantee you, once we're not here, he'll break down. No offence, Josh." He added quickly, walking to the door.

"None taken." I said slowly, truly surprised.

"Anyway," he continued, "I'm not saying that Josh is a crybaby, or-or weak, or  _anything_ like that. What I  _am_  saying is that Josh doesn't need enemies because he's just like me."

It dawned on me where Tyler was going with that. "Woah, Tyler, please don't-"

"I won't, Josh." He assured me.

"Just like you  _how?_ " Pete snapped.

"Pete..." Oliver started with a warning tone.

"That doesn't  _matter_!" Tyler argued. "What matters  _is_  that Josh doesn't need your-"

"To  _hell_  that it doesn't matter!" Pete roared. "I don't like you han-"

"I have  _anxiety,_  Pete!" I yelled. "Anxiety and depersonalisation!"

It was quiet for about a second before Tyler whispered, "I didn't know about that...that one...You didn't have to-"

"I finally get it." Oliver said. "Tyler-Tyler needs Josh because-Pete, don't you fucking get it?"

"No, I don't. Why don't you open my eyes?" Pete demanded.

"Josh understands Tyler more than-" Oliver started.

Pete hit my door frame. "More than  _who,_  now?!" How haven't  _we_  understood Tyler?!"

"Because you're always angry and swearing!" Tyler yelled. "I don't like it and you  _know_  that!"

Car doors shut and Casey, Ian and Jared ran up behind Pete. "Oliver, let us in." Casey pleaded.

Tyler shook his head.

"Tyler,  Casey and Ian can." Oliver assured him.

"What about me? I'm not here to yell at Josh." Jared said. "I'm here to make sure Pete doesn't do something he'll regret."

Pete glared at us all. He pointed at me. "Jordan, don't-"

Oliver pushed Pete's chest. Pete went stumbling back into the other three. Oliver started yelling at him. "You fucking  _ass_! Our friend is  _Josh! Josh,_ Peter,  _Josh!_   _Not_ Jordan! Stop being pissed at Jordan for once in your life!"

_When was the last time this happened, Joshua? When Tobias died, right? When Jordan and Chad got sent away? That was five years ago, but now it's your turn._ _One time of drugs will make you go back for more._

I pushed up from my couch. It seemed to me that running into the upstairs bathroom took a lifetime, and wasn't an action that shouldn't have been regularly made. I locked the door and fell to my knees.

 _Tobias died during that chase. Ten foolish boys; seven escaped, two arrested, and one dead. And where were_ you, _Joshua? Where were you when the police were chasing your older brother?_

Someone was banging on the door. I couldn't make out who it was or what they were yelling. There was a loud, insistent ringing in my ears.

_You were slowly dying, Joshua, remember? Remember being on your floor and giving up? You should have gone after Jordan, you knew he snuck out._

I fell forward closer to the porcelain tub. I curled into a small ball, my arms over my head. "S-Stop..."

 _Then Debby just_ had _to come along and save you._

"Josh, open up!" Jared yelled.

_They're all angry at you, Joshua._

I bit the inside of my cheek. I mustered up all the strength I could and moved to unlock the door. I fell over again, narrowly missing hitting my head on the edge of the bathtub.

_Or, no, not followed Jordan. Probably should have just followed Tobias._

The bathroom door opened quickly and roughly. Since I was then laying on my back, I was able to see Tyler's face of panic. "Josh? What happened?" Tyler kneeled down to my right and tried to get me to sit up against the tub. I had no choice but to oblige. He faced me and let me fall face-first into his shoulder. My legs were outstretched in front of me and my arms were limp at my sides.

_It's not a big deal. You know what you did, no use crying about it._

Tyler sat cross-legged and hugged me. "It's okay, Josh." He reassured me. "You can cry, let it out, man. It's just me."

I did. I let the sorrow and helplessness wash over me. I cried into Tyler's shirt; I clung to him as if he were a life preserver. He became the life preserve in the tide of insecurities tossing me around.

"Look what Peter's done..." He muttered. "If only he hadn't let his anger get the best of all of us..."

"I-It was my fault that-that Tobias died..." I sobbed. "I-I didn't tell Jordan-tell Jordan to stay home that night..."

"Was it  _just_  Chad, Jordan and Tobias?"

"N-No...Seven other-Seven other boys were with them..."

"Oh, Josh..." Tyler's tone was heavy with sympathy and comprehension. "Josh, Josh, it wasn't your fault...Have you really gone around for five years thinking that it was?"

"If you could even...even call it that..."

"What do you mean?"

"I-I didn't-I shut down for four years, Tyler. I just couldn't-I didn't have the will to-to-to-I  _gave up_!" I cried.

"Josh...What happened was five years ago." He said slowly. "That doesn't quite..."

"I-I was in and out of the hospital for-for treatments and-and almost died. I didn't-didn't eat, I didn't even drink  _water-_ "

" _Stop it!_ " Tyler cried. "What happened to Tobias wasn't your fault!"

"And now Pete hates me-me and I-I gotta-I feel like I need to do it all-all over aga-again to-"

"No, Josh! You need to stay. You don't have to do anything! Pete is being mean and not using his head! He only knows Tobias's and Jordan's stories. He didn't even  _know_  you until-"

"Yes, he did!"

"-didn't  _recognise_  you, then! He needs to know  _yours_  now."

"Jordan was a relentless kid," I murmured. "And I'm weak and can't even-"

"Wrong." He interrupted. "You're anything  _but_  weak. You're not doing drugs-not saying that that makes Jordan weak, by the way-you're not  _gone_ , are you? You're still here, Josh. That counts for  _something._ "

I just grunted in response.

"Peter." Tyler said, catching me by surprise.

"I heard." Pete said in a monotone.

I pushed away from Tyler. "You-I thought you said-just you-"

"Here in the bathroom," Tyler explained and blushed. "Everyone is out in the hall."

"Drugs won't get the best of Josh..." Pete sighed. "Already went through the worst..." He came to sit next to me and Tyler. "Look, Josh..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, man. I just...I remember the times you went to the hospital. I visited twice because Jordan's-well, I guess  _your_ -parents and my friends asked me to...  _Fuck,_  was that really you?"

I nodded. Pete sighed. "I-I didn't realise...I stopped coming not even a year after it happened..." He gave me a watery smile. "You've grown...Jordan talked fondly of you..." He rubbed his face and stood up." I should just... I'm sorry, Josh. I'm a dick, and I... I should go." He rushed out of my bathroom.

"Pete, wait, you-" Jared began before I couldn't hear him anymore.

"That's not what I wanted." I croaked.

"None of us did." Casey whispered.

"I think I should go to bed..." I mumbled. "We all probably should." Ian agreed. "Oliver, are you still staying the night with Josh?"

"I want Josh to come to my place." Tyler said quickly. "My parents'll be okay with it. Plus I want Josh to meet the composed side of my mum. How about it, Josh?" He added to me.

I shrugged. "Yeah, sounds like a plan."


	12. Eleven

I was able to pack a bag in seven minutes. I made sure I had my phone before going down to the front room. Tyler was sitting on my couch, playing on his own phone. Oliver, Casey, and Ian were all not there. "Where'd the other three go?" I asked.

"I don't know, probably to go wind down, take naps, or something," he said, not looking up from the screen. "I don't know if they planned on hanging out later though."

"Do you think Pete'll want to be around me again?" I asked softly. I wrapped my arms around myself. My question got him to look up. He watched me carefully. His gaze was so focused that I had to look down at my shoeless feet.

"Today has been...emotional," Tyler said slowly. "And I think he gets it now...but I think we should all have a sit down to talk when no one is heated. I-I'm still confused about everything."

"Okay." I replied. "I-I don't know what about... _that_...I can talk about, but I'll talk about what I  _can."_

Tyler walked over to me with his arms outstretched. "C'mere, dude." I was reluctant to hug him. His brow furrowed; he tilted his head and dropped his arms awkwardly. "Josh?""

I shook my head and shouldered my bag. "I'm fine, lets just go."

Tyler stepped in the way of the door. "Joshua, what's wrong?"

I ran my hands through my hair. "I don't even know, Tyler. I-I'm still worked up about everything. I'll be okay. I'm tired, you all are probably right; I need sleep, and then we can talk about...whatever." Tyler pursed his lips a little bit but still did not budge. "Please compromise with me here." I sighed.

He hesitated, then nodded and stepped aside. "Okay. Compromise."

"Thank you."

We walked out together and locked up. Tyler turned to our left. "Our houses aren't even that far fr-Hey, whose car is that in your driveway?" Tyler asked and pointed to Debby's Tesla.

"It's my ex's. I don't know why she took a cab when she moved out if she has her own car."

"Oh, wow. I-I'm sorry. How long ago was that?"

"Um...I don't know. A few days ago, maybe even four days ago."

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows. "That soon? That was...that was the day we met! Did she really dump you-"

"We broke up like a month ago, dude. She just barely moved out because we've been bickering about who got to keep the house." I assured him.

"And you got to." He concluded.

"Even though she had more going for her." I added.

"What do you mean? She thought you deserved it more or something?" I pointedly raised my eyebrows. "I can second that." He mumbled.

I sighed. "I wouldn't put that past you."

Tyler skipped ahead, up a walkway leading to a blue house. There were flowers growing along the two sides of the front door. To the left of the house was a small grove of trees and then a fence separating us from the back. They had three pine trees grouped together someplace random in the front. Tyler dug into his pockets until he came up with a set of keys. He smiled sheepishly at me as he unlocked his front door.

His front room was incredibly nice and had a piano. The spotless-ness made my house look like a pigsty, and Debby and I were super diligent in our housekeeping.

Tyler tossed his keys on the coffee table and disappeared around the corner. He came back with a blanket over his arms. "Sit." he ordered, nodding at the grey couches.

"Wait, what?"

He rolled his eyes and pushed me towards a couch. He pushed me until I lost my balance and fell onto the furniture. He spread the blanket over me. "Sleep," he said. "I still have to clean a little bit." He hustled up the staircase and disappeared from my view. I figured that I might as well get comfortable and play on my phone. Not even a moment after, it was snatched from my hands.

"Hey! Tyler!" I whined.

"You need to  _sleep,_  not be on your phone." Tyler 'reasoned.'

"I'm hardly tired!" I argued.

"Joshua, we compromised."

I groaned and got comfy again. I closed my eyes. "Fine, I'll get some sleep, and then-"

I was out like a candle.


	13. Twelve

"Sure, sweetie. Do you think he'll want something to eat?" A familiar-sounding woman asked.

"Probably," Tyler answered. "Today was...long."

"I bet, with all seven of you running around. I'll make some pizza then; it's fast and easy."

"Thanks, mum." Tyler said.

"You're welcome, sweetie."

I opened my eyes and sat up. I blinked a little bit of sleep away and looked behind me. Tyler was sitting on the stairs, playing on his phone. "Thank you for everything, Ty." I said.

Tyler jumped and dropped his phone. "Oh! Josh!"

"Sorry, sorry! You okay, is your phone okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, my phone and I are okay."

"So what kinda pizza is your mum gonna make?"

"How long were you awake for?" He laughed.

"Is your mum just anxious in public? She's not really an angry person after all?"

"Dude, stop answering my questions with more questions!" Tyler laughed again.

"I just woke up." I said.

He nodded. "Okay. Mum will probably make a four cheese pizza. No, she is hardly an angry person, only if someone  _really_  pushes her buttons."

"So someone like Becca?"

He looked confused for a few seconds before his eyes widened and he laughed. He had already laughed a lot in this single conversation and I honestly loved it. "Yeah, people like Becca. I really do love my mum, it's just time like that and when she isn't quite...LGBTQ+ supportive..."

I nodded. "Gotcha. And I don't blame or doubt you."

"The guys are comin' over," Tyler said suddenly. "Mum wanted me to invite then over for pizza..Is that-"

"It's fine." I said. "I-I don't really mind. I just hope no one glares at me-or Pete."

"I don't want any glaring to happen either." He frowned.

Mrs. Joseph came in wearing an apron. She smiled over at me. "Good evening, Josh. Sorry for yelling at you in the store the other day. It wasn't...the best day."

I waved it off, surprisingly. "You're fine, Mrs. Joseph. I don't really mind."

She pursed her lips and nodded. "Thank you. So Tyler told me that you play the drums..." One of her eyebrows arched.

I chuckled nervously and looked at Tyler. "Yeah, I can." I told Mrs. Joseph.

Her eyes lit up. "Anything else?"

"Uh..." I looked up at the ceiling. "I can play the trumpet."

Mrs Joseph clapped her hands together. "Oh! We have an old trumpet that Chris doesn't play anymore. We could give it to you!"

I widened my eyes. "Wait, what? No, it's okay, you don't-"

Tyler stood and ran up the stairs. "I'll go get it!" He hollered.

Mrs. Joseph chuckled at her son's behaviour. "He gets extremely excited whenever someone plays an instrument."

Tyler ran down the stairs holding a trumpet. He ran up to me, panting, and held up the brass instrument. "Play." He wheezed.

"Did you clean it?" I asked. He nodded.

I grabbed the instrument and pressed the buttons. I loved how smoothly they pressed. I held.it up to my lips and played a middle C. I  _tried_  to, really. It was horribly out of tune. I winced and moved the trumpet away. I pulled the slide out a little bit and tried again. It was tuned enough so that I could deal with it. I played a few bars of  _The English Folk Song Suite_ that I had memorised. When I was through, Mrs. Joseph and Tyler clapped, surely leaving me a blushing mess.

"Thanks." I mumbled with a microscopic bow.

A man then popped his head through the kitchen doorway. "Weyheyhey, is that a trumpet I hear?"

Mrs. Joseph rolled her eyes. "Yes, Chris. This is Josh, Tyler's friend. Josh, honey, this is my husband, Chris."

Mr. Joseph strode in and I stood up to shake his hand.

"It's nice to meet you, sir." I said.

His eyebrows rose. "Great manners, good. It's good to meet you too, Josh."

Tyler asked, "Dad, can we give Josh your trumpet?"

Mr Joseph shrugged. "I don't see why not."

Tyler's face lit up like the Fourth of July while mine burned.

"I-I don't think I-" I tried, but Mr. Joseph interrupted me.

"No, sport. I think you should have it; I haven't played it in years."

I sighed and smiled. "I-Well, thank you, sir."

Mr. Joseph grinned and clapped me on the back. "Sure thing, kiddo."

"Mum, Dad, do you mind if we go upstairs now?" Tyler asked.

The Josephs left us alone, and we headed upstairs to Tyler's room with the trumpet still in my hand. The first thing I saw was the ukulele sitting on his bed.

"Aww, nice." I said.

"Ukuleles are totally punk rock." Tyler said quickly.

I chuckled. "Dude, I wasn't gonna say anything about it."

"Peter and Jared think it's adorable." He mumbled.

I shrugged. "Well, it is. You're a smol bean, and the ukulele fits you."

Tyler groaned and picked the instrument up. He sat on his bed and patted the spot next to him. I sat by him and waited. He got situated, but didn't strum. I was just about to ask him what was wrong when suddenly he screamed, " _Yeah yeah yeah!"_ And started playing.

_"We don't believe what's on TV._   
_Because it's what we want to see._   
_And what we want we know we can't believe._   
_We have all learned to kill our dreams._

_I need to know,_   
_That when I fell you'd still be here._   
_And if you stick around I'll sing you pretty sounds,_   
_And we'll make money selling your hair..._

"Trumpet, Joshua." Tyler said quickly. I was so off guard that I had no choice but to improvise.

_"I don't care what's on your hair,_   
_Just wanna_ _know_ _what's on your mind._   
_Used to say, 'I wanna die before I'm old,'_   
_But because of you I might think twice..._

_"Yeah yeah yeah!"_

I put my trumpet down and clapped for Tyler, and solely Tyler. "That was amazing, dude!"

He blushed and rubbed his neck. "Yeah, well...thank you. I'm still working on the lyrics though. not sure if I wanna change  _fell_ to  _fail_."

"Nonetheless, it's good, man."

"Thanks." He said again.


	14. Thirteen

Tyler and I worked on the song for a little bit longer before his mum called up to us, saying that our friends were there. Tyler and I exchanged a look and turned to our friends walking into Tyler's room.

Pete hung back by the door a little bit, and so did Oliver. I had an inkling on why Pete was, and I knew Oliver hung back for Pete. Casey and Ian came right in to give us hugs and sit on the floor. Jared didn't bother with hugs. He just greeted us verbally and sat down next to Casey.

Casey looked over at Pete and Oliver and pat the empty space next to him. "Come on, you guys. We're gonna play Bubblegum in a Dish."

Tyler squealed and nodded excitedly. "I  _love_  that game!" He exclaimed. He yelped and jumped up. "Oh! We can play One-Two-Three, and-and Bullfrogs-Jump-From-Bank-To-Bank!" There was an awkward silence; surely we were all trying to figure out why Tyler didn't know the name of that game. It soon came to me that maybe  _no one_  actually knew the name of that game. Tyler, who was blushing, sat back down. "Or not." He mumbled.

Casey leaned over to engulf him in a hug. It was then, as he was swallowed by Casey's arms, that it occurred to me that Tyler was quite the small boy. He flailed until he was able to breathe. "Awww, Ty!" Casey squealed. "You, small, precious bean! We can still play those games, they're fun!"

Tyler tried to pry Casey's arms off of himself, but to no prevail. "Casey, you're crushing my lungs!" He gasped.

Casey let go, but ruffled Tyler's hair. Tyler's brunette floof stuck up, most likely staticky and non-cooperative. He attempted anyway to flatten it down and tame it. He huffed and dropped his arms when he realised that didn't work.

Ian was snickering behind my shoulder, and Tyler narrowed his eyes at him. Before I knew it, Tyler was pouncing our way, landing on me instead of Ian.

Of course, he didn't realise that and continued to tickle me.

"Don't mock me, I-" He squeaked and jumped off me. "Josh! I-" He turned to where Ian really was and lunged at him, not missing this time.

I wheezed and held my side, trying to recover. Oliver laughed and came to sit next to me. Pete had a double take and scurried over as well.

"Did the smol bean do you a frighten?" Oliver asked me.

I nodded. "I'm shook." I panted. "I'm shook and quaking."

Tyler was too busy wrestling with Ian to pay attention to the conversation. "You're such a meanie, Ian!" He cried. "You mock me and then you made me attack Joshua!"

"I didn't make you do  _anything_!" Ian laughed.

"Hey...Blue?" Pete said suddenly.

It didn't take me any time at all to respond to the nickname. "Yeah?"

"Can we...Uh...Look, I'm-"

I shook my head. "Dude, it's fine. I mean, obviously our friendship is gonna have to mend a little bit, but it's cool. No hard feelings, okay?"

Pete was silent for a moment before he nodded. "Okay. Can we-Can we start over?" He held out his hand.

I took it and shook it. "I'm Josh."

"Pete," he replied.


	15. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning. and substance abuse i guess?¿ idk what to call it but nonetheless, it does have to do with the plot, but please proceed with caution.

The seven of us just chatted and hollered for about half an hour before Tyler's mum called us downstairs. We raced down to the backyard, along with Tyler's three younger siblings.

In the backyard, two smallish, round tables were set up. "Teenagers sit at one table," Mrs. Joseph explained. "And me, Chris, and the three younger kids will sit at the other." Tyler's sister was the only one who seemed to have a problem with this.

Tyler sat to my right, and Casey sat on my other side. Oliver sat on Tyler's other side, and Jared sat next to Casey. I thought it was fine that I was sitting right across from Pete; sure, it was a  _little_  bit awkward, but not so much that I wasn't comfortable eating. Mr. and Mrs. Joseph and the three younger kids didn't pay much attention to us, and I still have a problem deciding if that was a good or bad thing.

We ate for a little bit before Jared was the one to clear his throat. "So, Josh...Could you maybe... tell us more about that day...?" He cleared his throat again, in discomfort.

I looked down at my unfinished pizza, no longer having the desire to eat. I sighed and slouched in my seat. "What else needs be said? I...I didn't cope well with Tobias...and Jordan and Chad... and all that..." I looked at my plate, wishing I didn't take any bites at all.

Jared and Ian tried to exchange a secret look, but I was almost positive that all of us there saw. Tyler put a hand on my knee, I was sure in an attempt to comfort me. And in a way, it actually worked.

I took a deep breath. "Okay. What do you want to know?"

"What were you doing when Jordan went with the others?" Jared asked.

I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to remember. "I honestly...don't know. I just remember sitting in my room, and Jordan telling me...not to wait up for him?" I finished my sentence as a question because I really did not know; I wondered if all the time in and out of hospitals messed with my memory at all, but that was unlikely.

"Like he...went to you to tell you not to wait for him to come home?" Jared pushed.

I shrugged. "I mean, I think so. That's what I remember him doing. It was already pretty late at night and I  _was_  trying to...cope with myself..."

"Are we all done eating?" Tyler asked quietly. "We should move this to my room."

I nodded vigorously, all too eager to not have to talk about this a), for as much more time than I could have had, and b), around Tyler's parents. With the latter, I felt like it would have made them skittish around me or something, and not let me hang out with their son. Which, thinking about who I thought I wasn't, kind of made sense.

We all cleaned up our places and took our plates to the kitchen to put them in the dishwasher. Then we went upstairs to Tyler's room. I sat on Tyler's bed and he immediately came to sit next to me. When everyone was settled down, Jared cleared his throat. "I guess we'll be open to anything you're ready to tell us," he said.

I nodded and looked down at my hands. How  _was_  I to start telling the story? When Tobias and Jordan met? That was  _years_  ago, so I wasn't so sure. Nonetheless, I started from there.

 _Tobias and Jordan met when Jordan was seven, and Tobias and I were six. I remembered feeling just a little bit jealous because Tobias was_  my  _age, and not Jordan's, but I was happy that Jordan had a best friend._

_Jordan and Tobias became inseparable, at least until Jordan turned fourteen. Jordan and Tobias met Chad, Kellin's older brother, at the local skate park. It was supposed to be a day that Jordan and Tobias could spend alone to celebrate Jordan's birthday._

_Chad was there with his friends, smoking something that smelled odd to Jordan and Tobias. Jordan, being the brave adventurer that he was, wanted to go up to them and ask what it was. Tobias had always been the shy-er one of the two and at first succeeded in telling Jordan not to._

_But soon even Tobias was curious, and they walked right up to Chad and asked what he was smoking._

_That's where it all went downhill. Chad introduced Jordan and Tobias to his friends and his network of drug dealers. Tobias only stayed because of Jordan, and Jordan controlled himself only because of Tobias._

_I was, by then, in a state where nothing was worth it anymore. I didn't see the point, and didn't particularly mind if and when I died. I wasn't_  purposefully  _destroying my body, I just didn't really mind how it looked like or what I did to keep it healthy._

_I minded a lot about what my brother and his friend were doing to themselves. I_ _wasn_ _'t okay with how they risked their own safety._

_I guess that made me a hypocrite._

_Everything changed on the night of my fourteenth birthday_.

 _I_   _was laying down on the floor reading when Jordan came in and wished me a happy birthday for the millionth time that day, and to say that he was going out with the guys._

 _I actually debated whether or not to try and beg him to stay. I eventually just dismissed him because he was older and he_  had  _been spending the entire day with me._

_About two hours after, I scolded myself and went out to try and find them. I went to their usual hang out spot, but they weren't there. I then went to Kellin's and Chad's house, and he said they weren't there either._

_I tried the skate park, and that was when I found them running down the street and through the play park, chased by a lot of policemen. I hid in the skate park, and about three minutes I heard a gunshot._ _I screamed, which was a bad idea because a nearby policewoman heard me and found me. She had started to handcuff me when she really saw me and she actually cussed._

" _Are you related to Jordan Dun?" She had asked me._

_"He said he would be back home an hour ago," I choked out past my tears. "I-I-He can't-"_

_"How long have you been sitting here?" She asked._

_"Just-Just now. I came to-to look for him- Did you shoot my brother?!"_

_"We don't know who we shot," she muttered. Her walkie talkie started to make noise, and I was just barely able to make out that my brother was alive._

_My feet gave out under me, and the policewoman had to hold me up._

_"Son, you're really-"_

_"You didn't shoot Jordan." I cried. "You didn't, you didn't-"_

_"But we_ did  _arrest him, Mr. Dun."_

_"But you didn't kill him and I think that's all that matters."_

_She just shook her head and took the cuffs off me. She still_   _had a hold on me as_   _she led me to her cruiser._ _When we came into Jordan's view, he looked so scared. I had never before seen him so scared in our lives, and I felt bad._

_"Your brother is not in trouble," the lady explained to him. "But we do still need to take him in for questioning."_

_"_ _He_ _didn't_   _do anything," Jordan said. "And I'm not just saying that to defend my brother. He_  actually  _doesn_ _'t do_  shit."

_Despite our situation, I guess I had felt the need for a little bit of sibling banter because I mumbled, "Wow, Jordan, thanks for exposing my non-existent social life to a few law authorities."_

_"Your parents are on their way to pick you up," a nearby policeman said to me. "And, uh... the dead boy's parents."_

_I widened my eyes, not taking them off Jordan. "Who died?"_

_Jordan looked at me sadly, and I knew who it was before he even told me._

_"They shot Tobias, Josh. He's-He's dead."_

_It felt like a shock through my system. A million of tiny glass shards were pressed into my skin as if I had laid down on a table covered with glass shards. "_ _No, he's not," I said slowly._

_The policeman cleared his throat. "Son, we're afraid that he is."_

_I_ _couldn_ _'t focus my eyesight anymore. "You shot my brother's friend." I muttered._

_"Hon, you don't look too good. An ambulance is on it's way for Tobias, do you want-"_

_"No, I'm fine." I interrupted._

_"You look really-"_

_"High metabolism. I get that a lot." I explained with my_ _rehearsed_   _lines. I knew that once I said 'high metabolism', people would drop it. That night was no_   _exception_ _._

_"Your brother is going to jail or prison," the policeman said. "Do you have anything else you want to say to him?"_

_I looked at my brother the best I could with my blurry eyesight. I knew just what I wanted to say, because it had been on my mind all day back then._

_"My wish is for you to come back home safely and in one piece."_


	16. Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for eating disorders !! Please proceed with caution again, but I will let y'all know when you can started reading again if you choose to skip over it, there will be a bold area in brackets. I love you all, please remain safe and alive.

_The time before my fourteenth birthday was nothing compared to my health afterwards._

_Jordan got a sentence of six years, and Chad twenty for some reason I still_ _didn_ _'t know._

_My parents were obviously and understandably upset at him. They_ _couldn_ _'t decide to be mad at me or not, but they decided not to be, and I_ _didn_ _'t really mind._

_I distanced myself more and more, and did less and less to take care of_ _my_ _body. I brushed my teeth a lot_ _because_ _I truly hated eating right after I had brushed. If I_ did  _have to sit at the table to eat, I would eat only a little bit and then go to the bathroom to get rid of it._

 _It_ _wasn_ 't  _until two years later that I really, really wanted to die, and a week before my_   _sixteenth_ _birthday I set out to do just that._

_I walked to the_ _play park_ _in the middle of the night and planned to_ _climb_ _up the tallest tree. I was up the tree a few branches before a girl called out to me._

_"Don't you think it's a bit too d_ _ark and late for tree climbing?"_

_I sat on the branch I was on and looked down. She had dyed, red hair, pouty lips, and brown, doe eyes. Even in the moonlight I could see her eyes pleading for me to come back down._

_Instead, I lied to her. "_ _I come up here to think sometimes, it helps me to focus and relax."_

_"That's_ _bullshit_ _and_ _you_ _know it," she said, catching me by surprise. "Now_ please  _climb back down and talk to me. I'm open ears._ _"_

_I_ _wasn_ _'t sure why I had decided to listen to her, and I_ _never_ _really found out. But I climbed_ _down and she hugged me._

_"I'm Debby," she said, and I told her my own name._

_My path to recovery started then. That night, Debby had convinced me to check myself into the hospital. We called my parents to let them know where I was._ _I was admitted for bulimia and anorexia. Recovering was surely as painful as it was slow, but I eventually did it._

_In between frequent trips to the emergency room, Debby and I started dating and moved in together. I didn't know why my parents thought it was a good idea for two seventeen-year-olds to move in together, but it happened and I was forever grateful_ _to_ _them for their undying love and support for me._

_I was finally deemed healthy enough a year and a half ago_.  _Even then, I was terrified that I would slip back into those bad habits._ _When we broke up, I knew that Debby had wanted to make sure that I was okay mentally and emotionally. I_ _wasn_ _'t really mad at her for that._

 _But I had thought so many times, even when I was discharged from the hospital, that I_  wasn't  _really stable enough for anything._

**[** **[** **It's okay now !!]]**

When I had finished telling everyone, it was very silent and made me squirm. "Um...Sorry, I really shouldn't have-"

Tyler and Casey wrapped their arms around me. "No, I'm glad you told us." Casey said.

I shook my head. "I don't want anything to change though. I want it to be like the day we met. Nothing happened, Tyler and I didn't do drugs, Peter didn't get mad, and I didn't panic."

Everyone else was eager to agree with me.

"Lets go sleep under the stars," Oliver suggested.

We gathered up a lot of blankets and pillows and carried them out to Tyler's backyard. We didn't really bother with sleeping arrangements. Well,  _I_  didn't, at least. As soon as we set up a blanket and a pillow, I laid down and fell asleep quickly.


	17. Sixteen

I was completely disoriented when I woke up the next day. I forgot where I was, and I had no clue as to why I was sleeping outside. Then I saw Jared, Oliver, and Pete sleeping nearby, and I remembered last night. My face felt hot. I also had to rack my brain to try and remember what day it was.

It was Monday, and I had work.

I gasped and threw the blankets off of me. I debated whether or not to just sneak around the house, or to go through it. I decided to just go around, but Tyler came out through the back door, looking concerned.

"Josh? Where're you going?"

"Uh, work. I-I gotta go to work, I'm already fixing to be late, so..."

"Oh..." He looked upset.

"Hey, Ty..." I went over to him. "Please don't worry about me. I'm fine. I just gotta go change into my uniform and go before I'm late."

"And you'll eat on your way there or something?" He asked.

I stared at him. "Yes, Tyler. I will eat something before I go. You don't need to be concerned. Here, before I go, let me help bring in-"

He chuckled, but had his lips pursed. "No, the guys and I got it. You gotta go home to get ready for work. What time do you work anyway?"

"Uh, I think noon. Why?"

"It's eleven thirty right now."

I yelped and gave Tyler a quick hug. I ran through his house, out the front door, and down to my house.

I grabbed a banana and a granola bar from the kitchen on my way up to my room. I ate as I got changed into my work uniform. I wish I had time to shower.

I locked up my house before I got into my car and drove to the store. I parked in my spot with five minutes to spare.

Janette looked confused when I went to the front desk. "Who got your feathers all rumpled? Did you get enough sleep at all?"

I shrugged. "I slept fine. I've just-I'm stressed is all I guess."

"You guess, you guess, you guess..." Her nose wrinkles. "Josh, I don't mean to nag on you or anything, but you could really-"

"Use a shower, yeah, I know. I didn't have time 'cause I woke up like, half an hour ago. I'm planning on-"

"Okay, okay, kid." She chuckled. "Don't need to retell your entire schedule to me. Just get to work, you're needed by the electronic section. That new game came out today and you're our only hope to be patient with other teens."

******

Janette ended up making my schedule a little bit more lenient. She said that she couldn't afford to lay off her best and hardest working employee, but that we also needed to find another solution for my stress. If I didn't find a way to relax, and if it was going to intervene with work,  _then_  she would have no choice but to let me go.

I didn't know what to do once I got home and got out of the shower. I didn't really have any of my friends' numbers, which was probably not a good idea. I made a mental note to ask them. I decided to set up a sheet on the couch for me to sleep on, despite it having been nearly eight o'clock. I found myself wondering what my friends were doing, and I wondered if that was normal.

A knock came on my door, and I almost convinced myself not to answer it. I groaned and got up to open it, and found myself facing Tyler.

"Hey, man. Can we talk for a second?" He greeted me.

"Uh...Yeah, sure." I stepped aside to let him him, and closed the door behind him. We sat down on my couch. He looked a little bit nervous.

"Tyler, what's up?"

"I...So, I...While you were at work, I decided to, uh... Try and sign us to a record label...."

I furrowed by eyebrows. "What? What do you mean?"

Tyler huffed lightly. "What I mean is that I tried to get a record company sign us so that we could release more albums and-and crap."

"And? Did anyone agree?"

"Um-No." He frowned. "I  _really_  wanna get signed, but...Let's just self produce."

"Self produce? What do you-"

"Like, record an album or an EP or whatever by ourselves, no help from a recording studio or a recognised producer." He explained. "Like with our phones or-or whatever else we can use."

I grinned. "Alright, alright, sign me up for that!"

Tyler grinned too. "Yeah? You'd really wanna be in a band with me? Make music and travel the world with me?"

"Tyler Joseph, that would by far be the greatest thing to ever happen to me in six years."


	18. Seventeen

The next day I woke up around noon. The night before Tyler had gone back to his house to entertain and play guest to Casey, who had decided to stay one more night for "funsies."

I fell asleep almost as soon as he did. I wasn't going to lie; when I woke up, I felt like I hardly had any energy. Maybe Janette knew what she was talking about. I did know that I had to get up to eat and do at least  _one_  productive thing. I pushed myself out of bed and dragged my own feet downstairs to my kitchen.

"I want a cat..." I muttered absentmindedly to myself as I rummaged through my fridge. "Maybe a tabby, or..." I ended up making myself a bowl of cereal. I couldn't help but notice that my appetite lately consisted of cereal and quesadillas.

"I'll go to the humane society today," I decided out of the blue. "And get a little kitten or something..." I quickly finished up my cereal to get in the shower and get dressed. I gathered up everything I needed before I locked up my house and got inside my car.

At the humane society, I almost headed to the dog kennels, but then remembered that I was there for a cat. I picked out a grey, tabby-like Turkish Angola, and the staff helped me through the adoption process for her.

******

"Okay, kitty, this is your new home..." I muttered to the kitten as I set her down in my living room. I let her explore as I went to take her litterbox to the spot that I picked out.

The doorbell rang and I opened it, knowing that it was Tyler. "Weyheyhey, Ty-guy."

He snorted. "What even are you?"

"Your friend." I sassed, grinning.

He rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but then he saw my new kitten. He squealed and went over to her. She looked shook, but stayed put as he picked her up and held her close to his chest. "What's her name?" He asked excitedly.

"Uh..." I looked at the little animal thoughtfully. "Owl."

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows. "What?  _Owl_?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, why not? I think it's kinda funny, really. A predator of a bird named a bird species name. It's ironic and I like it."

Tyler chuckled. "Alright, I see where you're coming from with that." He kisses the kitten's head before he sets her down gently. "So Casey went to work early I guess," he said with importance. "And he came back like half an hour ago. He told me that, um...that he heard from his coworker that the high school was going to a prom this weekend.

"Then  _I_  told  _him_ that you and I were planning on crashing one for our bucket list, and he said that it was on state street."

I raise my eyebrow. "And? Are you proposing what I think you're proposing?"

His grin was infectious, and I was already gathering up my keys and wallet before he finished speaking. "Lets go gate-crash that party."

"Blue matching suits." I said. Tyler nodded.

"Oh, heck yes. I agree."

We ran out to my car and got in it. "Wait, where do we buy suits?" I asked.

Tyler shrugged. "I dunno. We'll figure it out I'm sure."

I laugh as I drive to the nearest shopping centre.

******

It took Tyler and me nearly an hour to find the best place, and an hour more to try on suits and to buy the ones we liked. We bought these deep blue tuxedos. Tyler was actually pretty nervous about them, but I was able to reassure him that the suits were great.

We called Casey, and Casey gave us the number of his coworker, Tabitha. Then we called her, and she gave us all the details we needed to know. When we hung up the phone, Tyler looked at me. "We're actually gate-crashing."

"You bet we are," I replied.


	19. Eighteen

"Josh, Josh, wait a minute!" Tyler hissed. "What if this isn't a good idea?"

I paused to face him and to straighten the papers in my hand. "Of course it's a good idea," I reassured him. "Casey will be here in an hour to pick us up, no matter if the plan works or not." I look at Tyler's nice suit and add, "Though we should hope that things go well so that that nice tux of yours  _stays_  nice."

I winked and opened the gym doors to the high school. Tyler squeaked and shuffled closer to me, almost touching my butt. "Tyler." I muttered, and he stepped away a bit.

"Sorry." He squeaked again.

I chuckled and led him to the east wall of the gym; or to what I  _thought_  was the east wall, for it was covered with desert-themed decorations. "I understand an underwater theme," I said. "But a  _desert_  one?  _What?_ "

"They probably thought that was too mainstream." Tyler responded with a shrug. "And besides, this school  _is_ in the-"

"We're in  _Ohio._ " I interrupted him. "Not a desert in the slightest."

A young boy who looked a lot like Tabitha came up to us. "Are you Josh and Tyler?" He asked in a much deeper voice than I would have imagined.

"Yeah," Tyler answered. "You're Miguel?"

Miguel grinned. "In the flesh." He jerked his chin up at our papers. "What's those?"

I got one off my pile and threw it at his face. "Save the dolphins!" I shouted gleefully.

Miguel took a closer look. "These are printed pictures of hammerhead sharks though."

"That's the point." Tyler said.

Miguel shook his head. "You two are lucky I even came to this dance. I decided to come last minute."

"Thanks man." I said.

Miguel nodded. Then he turned and pointed up above the stage. "Up there are the rafters and fans. All you-"

"Wait, why are there fans?" I asked.

Miguel shrugged. "I dunno. I mean sometimes after plays and musicals they have confetti. Maybe they use the fans to really blow them all across the crowd." Tyler snickered. I arched an eyebrow at him but decided to ask him about it later.

"So when do we climb up there?" I asked.

"Right now if you want," Miguel said. "Here, follow me."

Miguel led Tyler and I to the backstage area. We came to a ladder that led up to a small opening in the ceiling.

"Up there is where the fans are," Miguel explained. "They're pretty big, so I guess that's why they're on a kind-of floor by themselves. I'm helping out with the prom queen-king crowns so you'll probably not see me. Preferably, wait until  _before_  we announce the prom queen. Like, execute your plan when Mrs Shandoun says 'and the prom queen is...' or whatever she says. Got it?"

"Yeah," Tyler said. I nodded.

Miguel nodded too. "Okay. Well-I'll... leave you two here then?" He left awkwardly, leaving me and Tyler by the ladder.

Tyler looked up and handed me his pile of papers. "Better start climbing then, huh?"

I sighed and put the papers on the bag I had. "Ugh. I guess so."

Tyler was already on his way up the ladder when he looked down at me. "What is it? Afraid of heights?"

"I'm afraid so." I answered with a grimace. "I'm also not very fond of...trapdoors or whatever that opening is."

Tyler looked up and then back at me. "Yeah, neither am I." He continued to climb up, leaving me to grumble and follow him.

When we got to the top. I took a moment to lie on my back to catch my breath. "That was insane," I panted. " _This_  is insane, I-"

"It was  _your_  idea, Joshua." Tyler sassed. He walked over to one of the fans. The fans were almost taller than me.

"Why do they need to be that big?" I asked.

"To blow confetti out to the crowd." Tyler answered whilst trying to hide another snicker.

I rose an eyebrow. "Are you thinking about blowjobs?" Tyler sucked in a surprised gasp and choked. I panicked a little and thumped him carefully on the back.

"How did you-How did you know?!" He gasped.

I squeaked and jumped back. "I was just kidding!"

"Don't joke about that kinda stuff!" Tyler groaned.

"You're not being very discreet, I can't help it!" I laughed.

He pouted. He opened his mouth to respond, but then the music went quieter.

"If I could get everyone's attention," a lady's voice ordered, "So that we could get this started, that would be  _lovely,_ thank you..."

Wordlessly, Tyler and I stood to prepare to turn on the fans.

"Homecoming King is..." Tyler and I turned on the surprisingly near-quiet fans. We hurried to get the shark papers out of my bag. We waited for the guy to finish his obnoxious speech. After what seemed like forever, the lady began to announce the Homecoming Queen.

I silently counted down from three and we threw the papers in front of the fans and yelled, "Save the dolphins!"

Below, the high-schoolers were screaming and causing a ruckus. Laughing, I started to leave for the ladder. I noticed that Tyler was about to follow the papers, red-faced and open mouthed, soundlessly laughing. I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the ladder with me.

"Tyler, it's this way!"

We ran as fast as we could to the closest exit. The cold air bit at us wherever we had skin exposed. Casey's blue car waited for us. Tyler and I get in the backseat; we haven't even buckled before Casey sped out of the car lot.

I collapsed against Tyler in a fit of giggles. We had our arms wrapped around each other in suggestive places but we didn't mind, nor did that apply to us. We had fun that night.

Casey took Tyler and I to my house after Tyler told his parents that he was spending the night. For the longest time, Tyler and I recounted to one another what we saw in the faces of the younger kids.

"Geez, why don't we do that more often?" I wheezed.

"I dunno," he answered, "But lets do it again. Tomorrow we should ask Miguel or Tabitha when the next dance is."

"Sounds like a plan, Stan." I grinned, and he returned the expression.


	20. Nineteen

My phone rang, waking me up in a frenzy. I groaned as I accepted the call. "Dun's phone, Dun speaking."

Tyler giggled through the line. "I don't like that. It's weird."

I cleared my throat and made my voice go deep as I said, in a sorry-excuse for an Australian accent, "'Ello, mate, this is Joshua Dun speaking, what would you need from me this wonderful day?"

Tyler laughed and snorted. "Yeah, that's totally more like you, thanks man."

I chuckled. "Anything for you, bud. So what's up?"

"Wanna go to Canada with me?"

I choked on my surprise. "Uh-Well, I mean I do, it's on our bucket list, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but I wanna go right now."

I laughed. "Ty, we gotta save up for the trip. We need t-"

"Joshua, Canada is literally, like, a few hours away-"

"The least would be six hours. Like I was saying, we gotta figure out where we're staying and what we're gonna do,  _then_  we can start saving up."

Tyler whined. "But that's gonna take months! I wanna go  _now_!"

" _Tyler_ , I promise we can figure out when we can go as soon as possible, okay? Are you insisting now because you're bored?"

There was a pause on the line, then a meek, "Yeah."

I was about to tease him for it when my doorbell rang. "Ugh, okay I'll call you back, okay? Research Canada until I-"

"Okay!" Tyler yelled and hung up.

I hurried out of bed and put on pants before going downstairs. When I opened the front door, the last person I expected to be standing there glanced at me with a shy smile.

"Debby." I greeted her, surprise obvious in my tone. I inwardly winced.

Debby tucked a strand of her now blonde hair behind her ear. "Hey...I, uh...I came by to...to look for my car keys...and-and get my car..."

I stepped back so that she could come in. "Yeah, of course. C'mon in."

Debby smiled again and stepped inside. I trusted her, so I didn't bother hovering when she went off down the hall towards the laundry room. I went to the kitchen to make myself a bowl of cereal. A few minutes later Debby came in, holding her keys in triumph. I gestured to the chair across from mine, and fortunately she sat down.

"So, I'm guessing we gotta talk." I said before stuffing my spoon into my mouth.

She nodded. "Yeah. How are you? Is everything going alright for you?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I met a guy, we became friends, and his friends caused us some stress, but the drama's over now." This was my way of trying to get her to not talk about it. I fought to not roll my eyes when she leaned forward with an intense look in her eyes. The intense stare was a reminder that she hadn't been my best friend for years for no reason.

I summarized the relationship Pete had with Tobias and my brother, and Tyler and I smoking weed. When I finished, Debby was glaring hard at me.

"You  _what?"_  She demanded.

"You heard what I said." I sighed. "I-"

She groaned. "Okay, okay, no, I sorta get it. You guys could've been seriously hurt or dead, or-or worse,  _arrested_!"

I wasn't so sure she had her priorities straight, but I didn't dare point it out. "Yeah, we get it. Everything else on our bucket list is mild, nothing too crazy." I didn't want to bring up the last thing on Tyler's list.

I asked her how she was to change the subject. She took the bait, but not without another glare. "I'm good. Nothing like you, apparently." She laughed. I relaxed because that was a sign she wasn't too angry with me. "I've just been settling into my new apartment. Plumbing's been good, so that's why I haven't called you."

I chuckled. "Understandable."

We caught up for a few more minutes before she had to leave for her new job. She hadn't even walked out the door when Tyler came walking up to my door. He watched Debby drive away with a scared look. "Who was that?" He whisper-yelled, jabbing his thumb at my driveway.

"Debby, for her car."

"Oh. So, can we go to Prince Edward County?"

"I-what?"

Tyler helped himself to a banana on the counter. "Canada. I found a few hotels around that area. Came over to go over everything with you. It's been half an hour, don't give me that look." He added with sass. "I'm a quick and efficient researcher."

I shrugged and held my hands up in surrender. "No objections. Show me what you've got."


	21. Twenty

If I were to be completely honest, I hated living alone. After Debby got her car back in the end of March, I realised that I've never lived alone before, and I didn't want to for much longer. I brainstormed, considering moving back in with my parents, but I was an adult now, and I didn't want to disappoint them. Then I remembered that Tyler was an adult now too, and he was still living with his parents, which isn't a  _bad_ thing, but parents deserve some peace and quiet away from young adult raves and mayhem. 

I dialed Tyler's number and pressed the call button. I stroked Owl as I waited for him to pick up. 

"Yo." He greeted me.

"Hey, how would you like to move in with me?" I asked. 

"Um...what?" He laughed. I could tell that it wasn't that he didn't like the idea, but he was surprised. I guess I  _did_  kind of toss the question on him out of the blue. 

"I'm serious, man. There's an extra room here, plenty of space,  _and_  you're my friend. Boom, three pros right there. Oh, and Owl is here too, so  _four_ pros."

Tyler laughed again. "I forgot your cat's name was Owl. Those are some pretty convincing pros. Cons: there's hardly ever food, we just met in February....that's it."

"That's because I eat it all, or have no energy to go to the store," I replied. "And see? Only  _two_  cons. You can't get a better deal than this, Ty-Guy."

"Lemme let my parents know the haps." He said. "After all, I  _am_  an adult, so technically they can't tell me that I  _can't_  move in with you."

"Wait, so you will?" I asked excitedly. "You'll move in with me?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"I'll be over in fifteen." I said, getting up front my spot on the couch and going upstairs to my room. "I'll get boxes from the store, bring them over, and help you pack. It's a done deal, you're moving in with me, this is gonna be  _sick_!"

"Sick as  _frick_!" Tyler replied through a laughing fit. 

"Okay bye, see you in a bit." I said quickly before hanging up the phone. I hurried to change into some not-pajamas and put my phone in my pocket. I nearly flew down the stairs and snatched up my keys from the kitchen table. I ran past Owl, but backpedaled to give her a few more pets before running out of the house and impatiently locking the front door.

I drove to the store and rushed to the customer service desk, where Janette was working. She gave me a stern look. "Boy, for one, it's not your shift, and two, you better not be trying to work in  _that_  outfit."

I shook my head. "Naw, I'm just getting boxes. Tyler's gonna move in with me!"

Janette cracked a large grin. "Wow, you boys sure are moving fast in your relationship. How long have y'all been dating for? Four months?" She expertly dodged a nudge. 

"I'm straight, Janette." I called over my shoulder as I ran to the back room. I got as many boxes as I could and took them out to my car. I wasted no time in driving back to Tyler's house. The boxes might have been unnecessary if we lived on the same street, but I happen to know that Tyler has a lot of trinkets, and there's no way in heck that he'll want to take multiple trips to take them to my house-well,  _our_  house now.

I held the boxes as I knocked on Tyler's front door with my foot. Mr. Joseph opened the door with a smile on his face. He sighed wistfully as he moved aside to let me in. "Ah, our oldest son is finally moving from the nest..." He pretended to wipe tears from his eyes. "He's just growing up so fast..."

Mrs. Joseph came in and lightly swatted at her husband. "Oh, shush. This is exciting for him." She gave me a quick hug before herding Mr. Joseph back to the kitchen.

I went up to Tyler's room and dumped the boxes in his open doorway. He jumped and turned to me, relaxing visibly. "Geez, dude, you scared me." He looked at the boxes and laughed. "How many boxes  _are_  there? I don't need much."

I shrugged and counted them. "There  _aren't_  many boxes, there's just five. We can probably carry like, your dresser with all your things still in it. It won't be that har-well, you look like a twink with next to zero muscle mass, so it might be hard."

Tyler gasped. "Hey, I am a  _twunk_ , alright? That is a combination of  _twink,_ and  _hunk_ , got that? And I do  _too_  have muscles! I am a strong boy, Joshua!"

I held my hands up in surrender. "Okay, I got it, yeah."

He squinted at me. "You don't believe me, do you? Here, do I have to prove it to you, be-"

I pushed him towards the bathroom, not paying attention to his self-proclaimed "twunk" status rant. "Just go get things you need, do you want me to put your shirts in a box?" He gave me a thumbs up as he went into the bathroom. 

******

"Is that everything?" I asked Tyler as I watched him set down the last box in his new room. We took apart his bed and it was now in a corner of the room. The boxes of his things and his dresser were scattered throughout the space. 

Tyler took a quick glance around before nodding. "Yeah, I think so. I live with you now, right? Like, now it's official?"

I shrugged. "Not yet." I took off a shoe and placed it near the door. I motioned to Tyler's shoe. "Gimme your shoe."

"What?" He asked, but still did it. I took his shoe and he followed me to my room, where I put it by my bed.

"Okay,  _now_  you live with me." I informed him. He looked flabbergasted. 

"That-that's all it took?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I mean, who needs personal space, am I right?"

Tyler held up a finger. "Actually,  _I_  do. Don't burst my bubble, or you're in for a world of hurt."

"Sure, man, I'm shaking." I said, making sure he could detect the sarcasm in my tone.

"Don't underestimate me, Dun!" He whined. "I  _told_  you that I was a tough twunk!"

"In your dreams, Joseph." I laughed. He groaned and pushed me to his room to help him set everything up.


End file.
